Win one free admission to my Standup Bootcamp for you or your funny friend!
Want to win a free entry into the star studded Standup Bootcamp for you or your funny friend? In the comment section below* tell me why you should be the winner. The person thinking the most out of the box gets a free admission to Stand-up Bootcamp where you will hear from the best; Jon Lovitz, Louie Anderson, Steve Byrne, Alonzo Bodden, Tom Wilson, John Heffron, me, Ant, and many many more. You will work with these experts one on one until your act is amazing. Whether you are a seasoned comic, or have never started, we will make you ready for the stage. For 5 days straight you will live and breathe Stand-up comedy. I will choose and announce the winner on Sept 24.
It is up to you to tell me why you are the best person to be chosen, but here are some questions that might help give you a head start:
Key questions…
- How would you get the most use out of the bootcamp?
- What would be the most you can do with the information you will learn?
- What would be the way you would maximize your connections there?
- How would you use your new experience to make a lot of money?
- How could you impact other people with this experience?
- What would you do with the new 3 camera shoot tape you would get of yourself performing, after you were coached by the best?
- How would you make bootcamp apply to you having the most successful future possible?
My next Standup Bootcamp starts runs from October 17th – 21th at the Jon Lovitz Comedy Club in Universal City, CA. So, list in the comments below why you would be the best choice for us and also please make sure you leave your email so we can get a hold of the winner!!!
**if you are having problems leaving a comment, just be sure to put your name in the first box, then your email, then website, then comment in the bog box. The labels are messed up and I have someone fixing them. Thanks! OR if you use the Facebook Connect or Twitter Connect buttons on this page to sign in, you won’t have to fill in any of that stuff! Good luck!
Tags: Alonzo Bodden, Bryan Callen, John Heffron, Jon Lovitz, Kyle Cease, Louie Anderson, standup bootcamp, Steve Byrne, Tom Wilson
September 17th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
Because I only have a year to live?…no. Because I can’t get on America’s Got Talent without being a Granny or a guy with his fist up a puppet’s butt?…no. Because I live in a state with hardly any open mics and your 3 camera shoot tape would beat the hell outta my flip video shaky cam recording… WINNER WINNER!!
Let’s face it, you have the opportunity to jump my comedy career from the rural roads of Virginia to the Fast Lanes of LA.
You have a list of ICONS on your class A panel, and to have even a moment where they share their opinions would benefit me for a lifetime. Plus I could avoid hovering outside a club after a show trying to get 5 minutes to talk to a comedian… which has only gotten me a ticket and a restraining order.
Being able to afford the travel AND the ticket just isn’t feasible for me right now in all seriousness. But if you take care of one, I promise to take care of the other. My bag is packed and ready to go. Carlin t-shirt? Check! Pryor t-shirt? Check. One free admission to Standup Bootcamp……..?
September 17th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
Using the knowledge gained from your bootcamp I would take over the world with charm and charisma. My first decree as President of Earth (an elected position) would be free pie for all and cabinet seats for my comedy mentors. Secretary of Dimples…what more can I say? I guess if that doesn’t work out I could headline a few stadiums or get a sitcom or some shit. Maybe my own cooking show somehow! I think you know what to do. See you in the elliptical office. Ovals are for squares.
September 17th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
Fuck you Kyle Cease.
Fuck you for hosting this boot camp that I didn’t know about until I randomly stumbled upon it on the Internet.
Fuck you for sounding like the comedy Tony Robbins on that web promo video (but with much smaller hands).
And fuck you for making me want to go to the boot camp.
I can be very negative about a lot of things, but not so much with the standup comedy. I love standup comedy. I love it so much I tried to get some standup behind the middle school the other day and I even wore a condom.
It was a lot more successful than the angry handy-j I once got back there.
You know what I need? Stage presence. I get on that stage and say funny things at jaded gen-x’ers who expect everyone to sound like Dane Cook and when I get off stage I STILL love standup comedy.
I still love standup comedy after some fat chick rebukes me for one too many retard jokes, even though she says ‘like’ like a hundred times in the process.
Maybe I’m stupid. I like uncomfortable silence. I like making people feel uneasy about their fucked up prejudices. I don’t even care if I bomb (much). I like comic books and science fiction and I like telling jokes about Batman and Captain Nazi (a real comic book villain). I like when the nobody laughs but the two comic-book nerds in the back…
Someone just stole my fucking mustard from the work fridge.
Connections? That’s what it’s all about. I learned how to make web pages so that I could get connections. I’ve done pages for famous people – comedians, bands… And now I make web pages for a living. I need to learn how to not do that backwards. I have been making connections the Bizarro way.
I’m serious about the mustard. Now I have to eat dry turkey. That’s horse shit.
I want to get my bodyparts and face in front of people who are professionals and who can be critical instead of being bitter or gladhanding.
I want a tape that shows what I can do. Because I hustle. I host a comedy night at a restaurant and sometimes we even have an audience. I do voice overs. I do a comedy podcast every week. I write funny things on a website.
I want to know how to get an agent to look at all of this and say, “Hey I can take a large precentage of this guys money and still make it worth his while.”
That’s what I’d do with this boot camp.
Ball’s in your court, Cease.
But I’ll have to tell you that I cried this morning about Mary Travers from Peter Paul and Mary. I’m a grown ass man.
Is that weird enough for you?
Let’s get weird, Kyle.
http://craigmayhem.com
http://www.superfunpatrol.net
http://nucularcomedy.com
http://www.youtube.com/superfunpatrol
(interviews, characters and fun stuff)
September 17th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
I used to think a stand-up comedy class was a joke. You can’t teach people to be funny, you just can’t. After performing for 5 years, I still believe that, now more than ever. But, after 5 years of performing and finding a lot of BS, dead end shows, bringers and other unsavory comic destinations, I realized I could fully use a boot camp for my material, my sets, but most of all to teach me the business.
I can do comedy, but I did comedy because I didn’t want to do any sort of business. Now I know I need to do some sort of business if I really want to do comedy for a living. Harsh realization but it is what it is.
A 3-camera shoot would beat the hell out of all the handicam shot videos I have with crappy audio, this much is obvious.
Forget that I’m fans of everyone involved in this – seriously everyone. This is the kind of thing where one show DOES make a difference, where stuff DOES happen. It’s not just stage time. I can get that anywhere.
September 17th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
i already know what i am capable of from the last bootcamp… so what i am learning is to continue to stay in the right mindset. sometimes my ANTS take over(automatic negative thoughts) that i think ALL of us go thru especially when we are putting ourselves out there on stage. my goal for this next bootcamp is to reach the paid level or the regular performing comic level. i am doing good right now but i need to reach that next level. i feel like i have and will continue to impact others with my experience from this bootcamp and being coached by kyle. if anyone is reading this and is worried about the money.. believe me i get it , but the experience you will get from this is priceless!!! i can not express that enough. this is not about the money it is really about changing your life and opening yourself up to a whole new world of positivity that will make you feel like a hundred million bucks.
life is about taking risks and i am taking the risk of maxing my credit card out in hopes that i will gain everything i need from this bootcamp. one day i will hopefully be speaking at this bootcamp and i will be Shawna WHitlock- Comedy Legend under my beautifully funny headshot;) oh and seriously … you cant pass up the 3 camera shoot for your set. it is exactly what you need to submit to competitions or even to get booked!!! i am so passionate about this bootcamp is has changed my life and i want everyone else to experience that too!!! oh and the support system you build from all the bootcampers is fantastic. you need a good support system in this business and boost your esteem up alot of notches on days when you aren’t feeling so hot. i could write forever… but i am going to stop now. good luck everyone!!!
September 17th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
Its no secret everyone here loves stand up comedy. when i saw this chance for free entry i jumped outta bed and onto my computer and youll know why in a second. comedy is a passion ive had since i was a little kid sneaking and listening to my moms pryor and eddie murphy albums. I started doing comedy almost 3 yrs ago in college and i graduated and got a great job making almost 60k a year with yearly bonuses up to 30k thinking i could use it to pay bills while i did comedy on the side. truth is 60k a yr is very comfortable and makes it difficult to push youre self. So i quit that job and went from 60k to i hope i get booked for this background job because i need to eat. I did it because i knew i loved comedy and i need to to move in the direction of my dream. Ive been a finalist in the Ice House comedy contest twice and I won it this past august. Being unemployed is the best thing thats happened to me because i can focus on comedy and writing but with a severe lack of money.
Being able to go to your boot camp will definitely propel me in the direction of making a living from comedy. When my friend david Lew told me about it i was so excited to go, not just because ive been a fan of Kyle since the first comedy central special i saw, but because he told me about what it did for him as a comic and i know that would be good for me. Ive made friends with some of the best in the business and even some of the headliners being featured in the bootcamp from practically living in the comedy clubs trying to learn from the best and get stage time.
myself being a 24yr old 6 foot 7 black man from compton who isnt your stereotypical black guy from compton(i love country music and i was on the country singing bee on CMT) makes my comedy and my POV in life very unique and i know with the help of the people in the bootcamp i can really grow my material and see things about me i still havent even seen. i dont want to be in this bootcamp, i need to be in this bootcamp.
with all the information i get from all the great headliners present it not only will help me grow leaps and bounds as a comedian but it also gives me the chance to help others as well which is something i love doing. Im in the process of writing 2 books now to do just that. when you tell people youre a comic and they start asking questions about where can they learn or get started because they always wanted to, it wouldnt hurt to say the kyle cease bootcamp either among other things. I love going back to my college stand up comedy class with all the first timers and feeling like i have so much knowledge to share in just 3 years of doing this, but its been 3 yrs around the best comics in the business so its like an advanced course.
im a very friendly guy and one thing ive always known how to do is maximize relationships with people, thats why myself and russell peters are good friends to this day along with countless other people who have helped me grow in the 3 yrs ive been doing this. keeping in touch with people who want to help me learn and grow is never a problem. I would definitely use this experience to take my comedy on the road and show the world a fresh new funny face of comedy. Russell Peters wants to take me on the road with him next year and we all know how huge his crowds are so if i can blow them away i create an instant fan base.
as far as the tape, i would definitely post it on my website travonfree.com as well as youtube ect. and shop it around to some agents who can maybe help me take my career to the next level. i know i was born to be funny and 9 to 5 will never work for me so im gonna do everything in my power to make someone know my name and know im here to stay whether they help me or not. Ill make them wish they did by being one of the most successful people in this business. point blank. I cant lose because its not an option. taking everything i learn from the bootcamp and taking it to the stage every chance i get until i see my name on a headliner marquee or see comedy central presents Travon Free is the only option i see for myself. no i cant afford the bootcamp right now, but that wont stop me from continuing to hit the stage and becoming the best comedian i can be. Peace and love KC
September 17th, 2009 at 3:44 pm
Most importantly, I would come into the stand-up boot camp with an
open mind. How could I not? These are some of the top professionals in
the country taking time out of their schedules to help me get better at
doing what I love to do. I’m in college, and plan on finishing before I
make any long-term career decisions, but what an opportunity to network
with the people at the camp, both performers and instructors, so that
just maybe I can integrate stand-up comedy into my life as a profession
down the road. Right now, I’m just performing at open mics and amateur
nights,but I could use the connections to move past this point, where
there are better venues and bigger crowds, something many comics never
get the opportunity to see. With my new knowledge and tape, I could
showcase my ability in a professional manner instead of just babbling
about weird things at the school’s ‘cafe night’ every week. The most
important thing I can say here is.. Oh.. nevermind. Here comes Kanye to
tell you why someone else deserve this chance more than I do..
September 17th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
Kyle My Name is Michael J. Herbert, 21.I have been doing open mic comedy in Las Vegas which is the worst place to do comedy if you are a local, especially cause I just 21. When I started out everyone was telling me “wow your really good”,” keep doing your thing kid” and many other generic compliments. Now I am just tired of guys who have been doing open mics for 10 years telling me how to make it big. I want lessons from the pros, but I’m an open-micer so I don’t have the money to pay for it. I have been busting my balls, making people laugh, being overlooked, and being stalked(by Lauren Ritzer) for damn near three years, It’s about time I make that leap from opener to headliner….or at least feature comic.
Peace and hugs, Michael J. Herbert
P.s. I am tired of being the underdog…I am ready to mount
September 17th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
I would get the most out of this bootcamp because i want to be a stand up comic bad. This bootcamp would help improve my set and jokes to help give me that push to become a featured and then become a headliner. This five days i would concentrate on comedy so this would be more of a comedy concentration camp for me. I want to becaome a national touring comic and one day take down kyle at the number one spot on the stand up showdown. This camp will teach me thing i could never learn besides here and give me to work with big name comics and study there style and find out what sets them apart from the rest. With this info i would become a featured act in now time people begging me to perform for them. This info would just help tighten up my game and pursue a full time career in comedy. The connections i have out there would be great out there but unfortunately i am from milwaukee and they might not really help in this area. But it would help give some valuable info on agents and booking gigs. maybe one day they could help my comedy career in that region of america. With this experience i would liek to make millions of dollars, but i would rather have pepople recognize me and know my stand up material. I would like to make this my career but i have a passion for stand up. I would want to do college shows and have a following. I want stuff i say to become national trends, and not cheesy like git r done. I want to make people laugh. Then when i am big i want to come home and i want to surprise a club with a free show or something like that. I love comedy the money is second to making people laugh and one day i could roast jeff ross when he is on his death bed, but probably not because he is not that famous, but i am reading his book. With this experience i would come back and help other comic buddys with pointers and stuff hang out at open mics and help another person chase the dream. The knowledge i could gain here would be so hard to obtain when you are just starting to become a comic. With the video of my set this would be a primary tool in my promo kit. this would be huge because not only does it have big names linked to it, but if this comedy concentration camp does what it is suppose to it should be one of my best sets ever. I could also make a copy and send it to grandma so she could see, and she might recognize the name jon lovitz. Hey-o. This camp i feel would give me the push i need to become a regular featured act and soon a headliner. I feel that this would help me become a better comic in so many ways. I want to be a comic as big as kyle one day and i know it takes alot of work but this camp could help out alot and teach me vital info that is need to be on that stage and be consistanly good.
Rick Carrera
September 17th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
Hey Kyle and friends!
Here are six things you need to know about me before letting me spend the week with you FOR FREE!!!
1. My real name, Jennifer Luck, sounds like a stage name…so since I have the name for the stage I will get my chance on one.
2. I’m turned on by humor and manic positive energy. For example if I’m attending a comedy show (Like when I saw Kyle for the first time at The Improv on my birthday June 20, 2009) and even just watching stand-up comedy on Comedy Central I’m always instantly put in a good and horny mood. All the problems in my world seem to go away. I’m flirty, creative and energized. According to this, I’ll be happy and turned on all week at Comedy Bootcamp. Considering I’m a fun cute girl, you all would benefit from having me there. Yes, even the lady comedians considering I play for both teams.
However, I do not want your scholarship based on my sexuality alone. I want it based on the fact that I’m a super mega awesome person. You see,
3. I’m a private educator as well as an ambassador to the swinger lifestyle. I’m the embodiment of Sugar and Spice. I’m the Mac and the Cheese. I’m the weed to your bong. I’m….stopping now, before I get too weird for even you. (Yes, Kyle, I think that’s possible)
4. The connections I hope to make would range from finding someone to laugh at my jokes to maybe being introduced to Carrot Top? I have a few naughty fantasies involving his Fire Crotch that I’d like to live out one day.
5. I would Tweet up the wazoo promoting of The Bootcamp and the comedians involved. Considering between my business and myself, we have over 20,000 followers on Twitter you would get free marketing. (Check us out at twitter.com/naughtyrev or my personal one twitter.com/jennluck)
6. There’s a lot of things I want to accomplish in my life, and doing stand up is one of them. If I find out I’m funnier than crying babies maybe I’ll open for Kyle Cease or my other fav Anjelah Johnson one day. If I find out I’m not funny, as least I won’t be your competition.
Love, peace and big ol’ tittles!
Jennifer Luck
September 17th, 2009 at 4:50 pm
Why should you pick me and a friend for comedy boot camp? I could say it’s because everyone else sucks my third nipple. I could say it’s because I have a vagina and therefore I am right and everyone else is wrong. I could say it’s because in my own mind I am the greatest comedian there ever was beyond George W. Bush. But the truth is I will never be any type of comedian without some type of outside help.
I live in Hawaii and there is only one small comedy club with a pre-set list of comics and she won’t even do open mic’s. The few pro’s on the island do very, very well for themselves but don’t really help new people out because they are protecting their own. The only other opportunity is opening for the mainland headliners that come in but I have no clue as to how to get into that –something I hope to learn in the bootcamp. Anyways, to get any stage time in Hawaii you need to already be a headliner so a newbie like me doesn’t stand a chance.
My husband is active duty military so we can’t afford the bootcamp which is why I am pandering to you now. My goal was to iron out the details of my act in Hawaii so when we move back to the mainland in 2 years I can really start pounding the payment with a proven, polished voice & act as a headliner. However, I don’t stand a chance in Hawaii without getting some outside education & experience like this bootcamp which would open a lot of doors for me. As far as I know, I am the only female stand up comic in the entire state of Hawaii and male or female – the only military veteran & military spouse comic. (Oh yeah! I’m playing the military vet & wife card – Insert patriotic sympathy here!)
I have done the new talent set at Caroline’s, Gotham and studied & performed at The Second City. You can view my resume & reels at Http://www.HawaiiComedian.com . However, I have not gotten a single paid booking as a comedian so I don’t even feel like I’m really a comedian yet. I hope the bootcamp will take me from wanna-be-comic to get-the-fuck-out-of –my-way-cause-I’m-gonna-freakin-kill-comic!
So why pick me? Clearly because I have a third nipple. Do I really have a third nipple? Well, you’ll have to make me the winner so I can show you when I get there! It’s the only way to find out. Thanks!
email is dmn62975@gmail.com and phone is 808-256-7661
September 17th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
I’ve been doing stand-up comedy since I was fifteen, and I’ve never been in the pecuniary position to take a bootcamp/class on it, or have a mentor. I live in your old apartment on Colbath, and gave you your mail, and was going to sign-up for the last bootcamp, but there was no possible way I could do that and still make rent, even though comedy is my love.
And the way you could maximize your connections and use the information you learn is to just pound the pavement and do it. Nobody’s handed anything, and it’s a once-in-a lifetime opportunity to have a panel of stand-up’s who just want to help your act constructively. Most stand-up’s don’t give comments on your act, and even if they do, they’re not the sort of comments you want. Making money isn’t the important part. Becoming the best stand-up you can be, is. If that leads to a lifetime of toiling in Valdosta, Georgia, then take it and go with it.
You could use the information in two ways, first, by hitting the pavement and bringing smiles to people’s faces, and secondly, by being proactive and helping other people with their acts in a positive way. Though a lot of people are trying to be stand-ups, there’s still a relatively small fraternity of people who actually are. A three-camera set-up will allow you to iron out flaws in your act, one major one being likeability. You can have great jokes, but if your body language comes across wrong, the response will be less than stellar. Which is my problem. Or you could submit it to an manager, if you felt you were ready for it.
Overall, the entire experience could be as valuable as you make it. And if you’d allow me to participate free of cost, I’d make it as valuable as possible.
September 17th, 2009 at 5:38 pm
Dawn Michelle Nash should be picked because she’s fat and sexy. She said so herself and I believe her. She has a lot of words to say. She say’s them in phrases and sentences and I believe she can make them funny through the boot camp. Give her a show because she rocks. Not like I do, but almost. Please give it to her!
September 17th, 2009 at 6:02 pm
Keeping this to a tweet limit: “to network, I will not follow regular military bootcamp guidelines…i will both ask and tell…then learn to make better jokes than that”
September 17th, 2009 at 6:27 pm
I’m not good at this kind of thing, so I just bought a ticket. See you in October!
September 17th, 2009 at 6:37 pm
Hi,
I’m Andy
When I was 18 I wanted to join the marines. I wimped out and decided to go to college and become an architect. During my orientation, I had a panic attack and decided I wanted to be a comedian. I did a couple of shows (one good, one at a baby shower) and was pretty proud of myself. Not to be outdone, my wimpyness pursued me and I became afraid of what I wanted to be and stopped performing standup.
I now do oodles of improv and take even more workshops. I really love the learning process and am beginning to establish my name as an improviser in Atlanta.
Its a euphoric sensation to have people laugh at your jokes. I plan to move to New York when I’m out of college so I can pursue that passion, yet I will most likely end up poor with syphilis.
But maybe a comedy bootcamp can help get my foot in the door and give me honest criticism from tested professionals? I bring a notebook and a tape recorder everywhere I go, so absorption of infotainment is assured. That young back is handy too, and I think I could use it to carry around experienced comedians to absorb their knowledge through back osmosis. Then maybe take that video and use it as a stepping stone by getting bookings in comedy clubs and then use what I’ve learned to maybe start a web series.
I would really like to be part of comedy boot camp. Then again, everyone above me looks pretty jazzed and has written pretty aggressive essays, making them look really good. But since this is for a comedy bootcamp, I will just try to prove myself through push ups.
1
2
3
(Ok, I just typed those three, now I will go do them. Please contact me before I pass out)
September 17th, 2009 at 7:16 pm
Unlike some of the other people writing here, I won’t try to use humor to persuade you into picking me. You will see that I am funny one way or another. If you’re like me, you’re reading some of these other peoples valiant efforts in summoning a laugh and not laughing at all, maybe that’s their way of showing they really do need the boot camp…
I’m 17 years old and I live in Sammamish, Washington. A few years back I had a dream that was crushed in a matter of seconds. My dream of being a professional football player was ruined when I was hit in the spine and left temporarily paralyzed for several days. After years of feeling sorry for myself I finally woke up and decided to take my life into my own hands, and take control of my dreams. My dream is to be a headlining stand up comedian. I started doing standup when I was 16 and did it for a few months before the nerves really got to me and I had to quit. I started up recently again, trying to make the drive to Seattle and back for open mics at Giggles as many times as possible.
If I were to attend this boot camp it wouldn’t be to meet the stars, or learn something for the hell of it. It would be to attain this knowledge that I would use on a regular basis be it at comedy clubs, talent shows, or even the political events I emcee at (yes, I CAN make politicians laugh). And unlike many comics who for some reason try to make other comics think lowly of themselves, I would continue to try and help all of the up and coming comics I meet, but after this boot camp, I would actually have something worth hearing. Selecting me wouldn’t just be helping me; it would be helping me help others. I feel with a cure for the butterflies in my stomach I could be the next Kyle Cease.
I would absolutely take advantage of any possibility given to me. Any connection is worth using, I see no point in sitting around and waiting for success to come when you can go and make yourself successful. I am not the type of person who sits around and waits for someone to call, I make the call rather than hoping someone will call me out of the blue. I think the experience plus the connections is money in the bank for me. I’m never scared to introduce myself and never shy to grab a mic and tell some jokes. I would be sure to introduce myself to everybody and make them remember me, that way I don’t have to go home thinking “wow I hope that big shot club owner remembers me” I know they will. “oh, that hairy seventeen year old who introduced himself to me was awesome.”
With my new skills in hand I would go to every possible club, meet every possible owner or agent and show them why I am the funniest person they know. Entertainment is an industry and comedians aren’t the only ones in it. If I have to tour with bands or other comedians to open for them, so be it. Those are just steps people have to take to make it to the top. This boot camp is another step I have to take and I would be honored to take it. There is a lot about making people laugh I don’t know, and a lot about myself I don’t know, and this camp would help me find the millions of dollars worth of funny that is inside me that I have never been able to find. Once we have located my inner funny, I would sell it to as many people as possible, even if it means I have to do that through casting directors and trying to get into movies or commercials, or doing something on the radio.
The three camera shoot footage would be something I could use to promote myself in so may ways. The fact that it would be me doing standup comedy at the Jon Lovitz comedy club is already a selling point in and of itself. This would absolutely be something to promote myself with on the website I am constructing for myself, as well as something to copy onto a DVD and hand out to as many club owners, managers and agents as possible.
It’s game time and I’ve been stuck doing pre-game warm-ups for too long. Standup Bootcamp would be the kickoff and the start of something very big. Boot camp would teach me who I am and how to be comfortable on stage. I would increase the quality of my stage presence which is an obvious key to any good performer. I feel like this is an experience that could finally give lift off to my career as a comedian, nobody will say no to a post Standup Bootcamp Chris Moran.
Doing standup comedy in LA is a big deal to any comedian, but unlike most comics I’m not intimidated by the idea of it, I’m not scared at all. You’re either funny or you’re not, regardless of what city you’re in. I am very funny, and I’m not being cocky, I’m just reminding you. I have what you want; I just don’t know what to do with it. I am a positive thinker and a believer and everybody knows that believers are achievers.
September 17th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
For my wife, Dawn Michelle….Never thought I would be entering my wife to get a free pass to a “comedy bootcamp” but then again my wife is pretty weird. She’s also very funny & great person so I hope you pick my wife Dawn. I know she’d enjoy it and would learn a lot. Plus, she could use a week without the kids to focus on her. Not sure why I’m agreeing to take the kids for a week why she runs off to CA & do comedy but I guess since she stood by during deployments, I can do this for her. Pick my wife please. Thank you. Mike
September 17th, 2009 at 7:44 pm
Dawn Michelle Nash is a very funny lady by nature. She’s presently running a successful business in Hawaii & treats everyone with courtesy, respect & a refreshing sense of humor. She can be ultra business-like one moment & then blindside you the next with an hilarious impromptu routine. If anyone ever had the makings of a truly great performer, it’s her. Comedy Boot Camp would do well to enlist her within their ranks.
September 17th, 2009 at 10:10 pm
I bleed comedy. Wait, no . . . I think people just laugh when I bleed. As a senior at MSU I am nearing a crossroads towards the end of my collegiate career. I’m supposed to be prepping for a “real job”, all the while pursuing my dreams in the time between classes.
Comedy has always been the way I communicate with the world. Ever since I was young, I figured out that laughter was the best damn thing. It’s so hard to understand yet so easy to get. In any case, I have always been “rocking the shit of ‘em” year after year, my primary choice of expression was always something that would result in laughter.
About 8 months ago I took the leap into standup at my school’s annual “Last Spartan Standing.” This was my first time on-stage and I won 3rd place. Buying a keg for my friends with the prize money, I decided to dive head first into any comedy scene I could find. The next few months went doing any coffee shop, bar, and open mic I could find. Driving hours to do 3 minutes really helped me see how much I was willing to put into this.
So here I am, having had amazing show and terrible shows, and just as I feel a slight plateau BAM! Time for bootcamp. Out of nowhere but my ambition to evolve(and partly because I signed up for the Cease newsletter a month ago) an opportunity to do just that.
I won’t pass it up. I’m coming to StandUp Bootcamp.
So, why am the best person for this admission? It won’t be wasted on me. Not one effin drop. I pride myself on becoming efficient and I will absorb as much as humanly possible. Damn, and to meet some comics. Real comics, who want to help? I’ve spent nights behind headliners with list of questions; show me, teach me, how do I became like you; but now an event with that being the sole purpose. And Hollywood! I’ve never been to Hollywood! And at the John Jovitz Comedy Club! High School High was one of my favorite movies as a little kid.
I’m not worried about the success, I’m ready for it. I CAN’T WAIT to come back and teach my other MSU pals who do comedy what I’ve learned and get every rockin’. Shit, I’ll have them come too.
To be as sincere as I possibly can, this sounds amazing and if I have to have a car wash, join a church, or shine shit to raise the capital I will. Standup Bootcamp, here I come.
Diego
September 17th, 2009 at 10:52 pm
My grandma used to cut me down when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Not that she didn’t love me, she was awesome, she just thought I should learn a skilled trade like carpentry, because there is no money in being a comedian.
I never pursued that dream. Instead, I was satisfied with being the funny guy in whatever group of friends I was with. Wrote satire in the school paper, did some theater stuff, kept a journal of my writing. All hobby type stuff. Eventually I got married and started a family and became a working guy. I got involved as youth leader for my church and worked my way up the retail management chain of command. My grandma was pleased, I was happy, my family was healthy and life was good. But something was still missing. . .
A number of years later I landed myself a desk job with way too much freedom to use the internet. I found myself starting up a blog, then becoming a profuse blogger with a sharp comedic wit about me. My weekly mini-features landed me a small writing gig for Punchlinemagazine.com just after they started. I kept writing comedy, I kept blogging about comedy, interviewing headliners and coveting the time they get to spend on stage.
I attended the Stand-up Bootcamp last over the summer this year and learned how get things started on my own. How to find out who I really am as a comic and a writer. How to get my funny across in the fewest words possible, and a little about how to allow myself to be just vulnerable enough to let the crowd see who I really am.
During the day of workshopping before the showcase, I came up with an idea and headliners thought is was funny and were excited to be part of it. That night on stage, my idea played out. It was awkward, confused the crowd at first, and then it killed and it was all caught on tape with a three camera shoot in HD. I have taken that tape and have gone on to currently being a contender for the 2009 Andy Kaufman Award and have started up my own Open Mic at a coffee shop in my home town. That night on stage at the bootcamp was my first time on stage at a club.
My grandma had died just three weeks before I left for the bootcamp. She would have hated that I am accepting that I am a comedian but she would have loved to hear how I made those people laugh.
I could go on and on about the sacrifices my wife has made to help make this dream career become a reality, share details about how money is always tight, how my youngest son has Autism, or how easy it is to say “well, maybe someday later, life is just too complicated right now”, but the truth is, that once you have done EVERYTHING you can to make you dream a reality and you start to see it happen – you’ll get that affirmation that it was worth it and that you are right where you ought to be.
September 18th, 2009 at 12:44 am
Stand up has been something I’ve been doing for five years. My beginning was very humbling, I bombed…hard, and it hurt. The rules stipulated that I only go five minutes and I went twenty, and I sucked. Since then I’ve been doing open mics and competitions. Last night I hosted the University of Wyoming Stands Up competition; that on the other hand went pretty alright.
As a kid I always thrived on attention, usually by being a smartass. This has been frowned upon by many individuals, most notably was my pastor. I grew to understand that, like Roger Rabbit, what I wanted was to make people laugh. I’ve lived my entire life in Wyoming. Since I am not Jeff Foxworthy; I manage to have difficulty making comedy happen in this state. I feel that I have a skill that goes beyond Wyoming’s borders.
My situation is one where I feel comfortable writing my material and I realize that positive energy onstage is the key to success. What I don’t have is mentorship, the kind of knowledge that through critique makes me better, the kind of understanding that leads to continued achievement.
I have been involved with programming on the Laramie campus since I first started schooling. Every time we had comedians come through, I learned what I could from them, getting maybe five or ten minutes. The time has been very helpful, but I can only imagine how much I would benefit from being immersed in top notch comedians for five whole days.
Last night I got to talk to a friend of mine who’d watched my stand-up since I first started and he looked at me and said, “I’ve never seen you look better…” It is my hope that I would come out of this bootcamp believing the same thing about myself and my future as a comedian.
September 18th, 2009 at 3:37 am
This is not an opportunity for me to drop names, promote myself and my upcoming meaningless appearances which are of no interest to anyone in competition with me.
This is not the time,nor the place for me to say the things,everyone else echoes in agreement on how exciting and once-in-a-lifetime an opportunity you have extended to us.
But, by already having stated the obvious I have thereforth wasted the first 2 sentences of my submission…2 extremely valuable paragraphs. They say you only have one change to make a first impression. Here is where I need the help from seasoned professionals.
I wish to express an overwhelming sense of urgency, in that I wish to come across funny…but would prefer not to try and come up with the “wackiest, nuttiest, zaniest, craaaaziest” comment.
My mind is never at a loss for words. Stage fright is not a problem. It’s more an endless dilemma…a war of silent words, or thoughts kept to myself. Often put on paper, yet a constant struggle with myself remains.
I am by all means and lame, played out, tired cliches, my own worst enemy. I am funny. I know I am funny. There is a frustation in getting the rest of the world to know. It’s not a fear of not being able to convince an audience. I lack the belief and confidence in MYSELF to say the right things and to know WHEN to say them. There is never a shortage of topics or subjects to speak about to me in any way, on any day, at any given time. I could type, write, read, sing, record…all those things…But if given a chance to perform. I fear I would not provide the material that best represents myself.
I have had the dream and the ambition now for over 4 years. The thought came into my head, nothing happened overnight and no one moment defined what I thought I would like to do with the rest of my life. Being a life long musician, i have performed in front of crowds, some large…mostly small, and adapt an on stage persona that often counteracts the altogether quiet and reserved daily person my family and friends have come to known. Outspoken, yet soft spoken. Manic at times, with an inner rage when feelings of confrontation come to the surface. We all have it inside us, it’s a matter of finding the right tools within you to reveal it to everyone and let them see and hear what i feel to be, the REAL me
Shyness? Timid? Uncertainty? Fear of failure? Perhaps all these play a part, in the bigger picture being my not yet having attempted a go stand up comedy. I could write material all night, piece it together into a 5 minute set I wouldn’t say would “kill” but would get laughs in the right places. Try to get the timing down, practice in front of the mirror, make attempts to make funny faces at times.
Some feel the need to list influences and inspirations, I truly feel I draw from anyone and everyone I have ever had the privlege to witness perform. The idea of taking inspiration from someone who had a similar thought process as me or ultimately opened my mind to a newer way of thinking. I have sought the inspiration, I am looking to obtain the missing link…The motivation. I could tell you all day long what I plan to do and what I will do, actions have always proven to speak volumes louder. If I were to given an opportunity, I can guarantee to myself, which is better than any promise I can make for anyone, that I would at the very least…make the most of it and not accept failure as an option, just because I have feared it for so long.
I just seek a chance. One I am not in a financial position to realisticly pursue. In fact, I write to you currently unemployed hoping to make a long time dream of mine a reality. What I lack in the traditional college taught education, I feel I more than make up with insane imagination,open mindedness and creativity. An endless respect and love for comedy and a willingness to learn and utilize any of the tools, tricks,tips, techniques and words of wisdom I would be so generously given, and graciously accepting.
Life is a long line of options and decisions to make, some tough, some painfully obvious…I expect this choice for you will not be as easy as the choice I have made to myself. I want this. I deserve this. And I feel now is a better time than any.
I thank you, more than anything for even the briefest of consideration. I could never be anything more than grateful for even just your eyes reading this. Quietly I wait in desperation, hoping another chance like this won’t pass me by.
If given the ball, i will run with it. If given the chance, I will learn to fly. And I will soar. With the stars in the midnight sky. Where the eagles dare. Where the purple turds float on a leprechaun’s pumpernickel casserole. Monkeys and pigeons stand not in my way, for Halloween my friend, don’t mean nothing to a brontosaurus.
I ruined it. Didn’t I. I said I wouldn’t try to be funny. This ended up like a long drawn out voicemail to someone you swore you would not call for 4 days and then you get an insane delusion of grandeur at 3am to desperately beg for a chance.
Not going to proofread. Not going to backspace. Not going to check for continuity or puncuation and grammatical errors. While I wish to taken seriously, and would never NOT do any of those for a resume or online job applicaton, I don’t want you to lose sight that even in times of seriousness, one can show nothing can’t include some pointless jibberish,hogwash,chicanery,tomfoolery or old fashioned shenanigans.
Thanks dude. If you read all of this. You sir, are a better man than most…including I. If the person you choose bails, then why not come see about me?
Consider this…Brian Connolly at Standup Bootcamp. Stranger things have happened. Like Scott Baio having a reality show. Who saw that coming?
Peace and Vinegar,
Brian J. Connolly
September 18th, 2009 at 4:52 am
This is a support post for my friend Dawn Michelle Nash. I had the great fortune to study comedic principles with her for several months this year. She is a naturally funny person and is a very talented performer. She possesses a true passion for this business and will benefit greatly as well as contribute to your program. She will make the most of this opportunity and deserves your full consideration, and most importantly, a chance and slot in your program.
September 18th, 2009 at 11:49 am
Because I’m straight up bad ass. the end.
September 18th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
I WANNA GO! Like real bad, basically because you’re my hero. My best friend says I’m really funny. I REALLY JUST WANNA MEET YOU! Every show you’ve had was 18+ and I was still underage. This made me sad. But now am 18. And SO down to meet you, because you’re basically my favorite human being.
Thanks.
Bye.
Nikki
September 18th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
Before I drop my entire bank account into coming out to LA to take your boot camp and risk homelessness, I’ll attempt the free admission.
Stand-up is something I had always wanted to do since I was six years old. I became serious about it when I was eighteen and after four years of writing in my basement I graced the stage at a local coffee house open mic. Nine months later I was running that open mic, and now sadly it is the only open mic in my city. Even though I’ve been in it for less than two years, I work hard to be someone the newer comics can look up to. I’ll take time out of my week to meet with them, give them pointers, and critique their jokes. Whatever they need help with, I’m there for them. I just enjoy helping out the new guys because there wasn’t anyone around to help me out when I started.
My goal isn’t to make a huge amount of money or be famous. Don’t get me wrong I wouldn’t turn it down if it came to me, but that would be a bonus; my goal is to be a great comedian. I would rather be a comic that people can look up to and respect for being a smart writer with a quick wit than a rock star of comedy. I want to learn from the best, because I want to eventually be the best. I’m coming out to LA to get the tools I need to maximize my potential. You know what they say, teach a man to fish. . . I want to take what I learn and bring it back to my city where no one cares about stand-up and make a scene. I want to pass down that knowledge to those who need it.
Even if I don’t get free admission, I’ll be there. In the second row with my notebook ready to learn everything I can about stand-up. I’ve been saving up money since Chet Wild told me about it a few months ago. It’ll still break the bank, and I’ll have to eat ramen noodles for breakfast, but it’s worth it, so I’m making it happen.
September 18th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
Choose Dawn Nash!!!!!!!!
September 18th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
Personally I would vote for Nikki Cox.
Seriously I’ve been wanting to do standup for about 5 years now. When I got laid off from my job I was thinking of what I wanted to do as a career. I kept thinking making people laugh was the only thing that i’ve always loved doing that I acually have a talent for. Over the past few years many people, strangers and friends, have been telling me i should do standup comedy.
So I started writing and have kept all of my notes on my laptop. I have hundreds of personal experiences from growing up a Jehovah’s witness to being homeschooled to living in foster homes.
I feel that i’m missing a key element in getting up on stage and it’s my hope that this final element is this class.
I had been searching for classes and found a few that were highly recommended from other comics. The difference in this class is the business side of it. You get to meet with agents, club owners, and other successful comedians.
I don’t have a sad story but that’s my reason for wanting to be picked. But if you don’t pick me pick Nikki Cox haha.
September 18th, 2009 at 8:48 pm
Dawn Michelle Nash will make you proud to have helped her attend your boot camp. Her unique combination of talent and heart transcends the run-of-the-mill “I wanna be…” into the realm of actual possibility. Her determination to follow her dreams and her extraoridnary ability to turn them into reality is not something she holds onto only for her own sake. Her generous spirit and loving nature help everyone around her find a happier, more fulfilling world. She looks at the foibles and ineptness most of us face throughout life and helps us laugh at ourselves and surprises us with gems of wisdom that help us grow through our laughter and sometimes tears. Dawn combines the best of sincererity with an intense delight in life and produces dramatic results in even the most dour spirit. Let Dawn loose and then stand back – you’ll be blown away by this terrific lady!
September 18th, 2009 at 8:57 pm
Pick Dawn Michelle Nash!!! As her sister, I can atest to the fact that she began performing when she was just 3 years old by creating and putting on shows for her family. She is a natural but won’t be able to take it to the next level without your help. Please pick her!
September 18th, 2009 at 8:58 pm
Well the obvious reasons why i should be chosen may include the fact that I have the ability to fly (not true) and i can perform open heart surgery on demand (also not true) But perhaps the main reason is because I had to deal with this every morning over the summer…
Roughly 7:00am Sister awakes me to tell me to go down stairs to watch my nephew…no big deal.
7:01am I arrive in her room and lie down. He is circled by pillows on the left side so he is blocked and i am on the right side.
7:06am I turn to realize his body has turned 90 degrees and completely re-arranged the pillows…what the heck
7:10am Jacoby was strecthing while sleeping and he kicked me in the jaw… i went to roll over and his body rolled with me as i put too much weight down. We were basically a synchronized swim team from above.
7:12am He kicks me again in the jaw for good measure.
7:14am I realize i am about to fall off the bed so i try to re-adjust myself but chubbsy wubbsy over there seems to need more room than me…
My bed space width = about 8 inches
His bed space width = like 3 1/2 feet
I’m pretty tired so i fall asleep for roughly 30 minutes.
7:46am I awake due to the grizzly bear snoring to the left of me and i find his face is in front of mine…ok no big deal then he does….it…
“zzZzzzZZZzz….*yawns*…”
Holy crap that smelled horrible…..
*Yawns again* OMG GET ME OUT OF HERE!!! BABY MORNING BREATH!!”
A sign from god occured as Jacoby awoke after the 2nd yawn…He stared at me i stared at him. An outsiders view would have given the impression of a ritual 7:50am staring contest. I however assure you that was not the case.
(inside Jacoby’s mind) …huh?…..*stares as if high*….huh?….
- He was probably wondering why i was the 1st person he has seen this morning…it was either that or “since when did my mom grow facial hair?
8:45am For the past 45 minutes Jacoby went to his ball pit, picked up a ball threw it to one side of the room ran by the fish tank yelled “Fish!” Grabbed the ball he threw, threw right back where it was. Ran by and yelled “Fish” again…this process continued for about…what seemed forever.
…We went upstairs 5 minutes later to bring him to his grandmother, i realized he was absolutely soaked with pee….gross…
:/
So bam…oh ya, and I want to be famous.
September 18th, 2009 at 11:54 pm
My name is Rose and I would like my mom Dawn Nash to get into the comedy class for free because she is loveable, playful and really funny. I think you would like her. Bye.
September 18th, 2009 at 11:56 pm
My name is Dylan. I’m 6 years old. I would like my mom to get into the class for free because she’s really funny. because she’s cute and because I love her. By. By.
September 19th, 2009 at 12:01 am
My name is Rose and I am 9 years old. I would like my mom to be in the class because she is joyful, fun and awesome. You’ld really like her. By.
Rose & Dylan comments typed by their father Michael on their behalf. But these are their real comments the kids said when we told them about the contest. They are very excited and wanted to help out. Hope that’s ok!
September 19th, 2009 at 1:21 am
Not sure I am doing this right – but have to say please choose Dawn Nash.
There are tons of decent to half decent comedians out there yes but Dawn Nash is something different. With her you can never be quite ready for what she will say/do next. It is incredibly entertaining, even inspiring with or without drugs. Please choose her
September 19th, 2009 at 2:18 am
Hi.
I’ve been checking up on your blog like crazy…I’ve been hoping to win your free dvd of weirder, ya know, hoping that you’ll think that I was the most creative, checking like, compulsively. And then suddenly BAM you’re having this contest for a free ticket to the stand up boot camp thing, and about a million things went through my mind-I guess the first of which was holy crap; I could win!!!!!
But then, of course, as these things happen, my brains went on to many other things “ok, Sara, seriously…you’re probably not the most creative person trying for this ticket, you probably won’t benefit the most from it, you’ve never been interested in stand up before now, and you have no material and no experience at all, and lets go ahead and assume you do win the contest, you can’t afford to fly to LA, you can’t afford to stay in a hotel, or feed yourself for five days, plus you just got your FIRST job ever, and how likely do you think it is that you can get five days off in the second month and blah blah blah. ” (my brain is a jerk)
I clicked away from the page, but I couldn’t get my mind off of it–especially cause I keep coming back to check to see if I won the DVD (I know the page said the results would go up on Friday, but I kept checking anyway [I think I'm insane])
I read some other people’s [sob] stories…cough…cough…uh, entries and I’m sure you’ve got your hands full trying to decide who’s entry was the ‘best’ or ‘funniest’ or like…I don’t know…the “winner”
Good luck with that.
I thought about creative ways to win the ticket: I had plans for making a video with my sister through the ‘convince Kyle cease to give me a ticket’ video production company and making my entry just the link to that video. It seemed creative to me…(I mean to the best of my knowledge, nobody did that…so far?) and you might be thinking “oh my gosh, Sara, you totally should have done that.”
And I was gonna. But I didn’t think it was fair. Because even if I win the ticket (big IF…) I can’t use it. At least I don’t have the means to right now…
Now you might be wondering: if you can’t use the ticket, and you don’t expect to win it, why the hell are you writing an entry? It’s a good question, one I really don’t know the answer to–I guess because the whole thing has really been on my mind a lot, and I didn’t want to let the opportunity go by without at least trying. I guess in the long run, I’d rather lose the contest, I’d even rather have my entry overlooked whatever, but how could I live with myself knowing I didn’t even try??
And you know-I’ve gone back and forth on whether or not to even write this, cause it’s kind of embarrassing to admit you don’t have the means to do what you want, but I’m working at it, ya know? (cue my sob story here:)
See, I’ve had to take a semester off college because my loans wouldn’t go through, and I’ve taken the before mentioned job to try and raise funds so I can go back in January. Money is really tight right now. I don’t say all that so you’ll be like oh boo hoo Sara, you’re life’s so hard, but just, I guess, so that you can understand why I really had no intention of saying anything in the comment section, just kind of skimming through everyone else’s submitions…
But my brain, or maybe my conscience wouldn’t let me alone. So I just opened up Microsoft word, and started typing…
Kyle Cease, you are totally legit. You are my absolute favorite comedian (followed by others but you are my favorite). I love what you do. I love that you can be funny, and also insightful. You are the nicest guy ever (I did talk to you on the phone one time idk if you remember), and I think that you will understand why I’m making this entry. I have every intention of coming to stand up boot camp someday, even though I have no idea when it will be, and if I’ll even be good at it. I hope that when that day comes, you’ll remember my name, and remember this entry.
oh, and I promise I’m not like all emo and melancholy all the time. (spell checker just corrected the spelling of melancholy. wth is up with that?) ok. I’m just gonna shut up and go away, cause this entry is already long enough.
You rock.
ok.
bye.
-Sara H
September 19th, 2009 at 3:09 am
Best of luck to all the earnest contestants.
September 19th, 2009 at 3:40 am
Dear Kyle Cease,
I still haven’t gotten gotten the DVD i won fair and square by sending 14 answers in a row via Twitter. Does giving babies pop rocks, plank seconds and protractors jostle the memory?
Normally, I’m not one to keep track records, pinch pennies or employ dried up, used cliches in the New York second of the interweb. However, you asked what I would do to impact people with comedy. I’ve pounded my brain, thumbed through all of Roger’s thesauruses and perused the inner workings of Urban Dictionary, but there’s only one way I know how to say this: I want to be the change I want to see in the world.
You’re vomiting right? There goes the unbaked canister of Pillsbury rolls you just ate. Ahhhhh, and other previous jokes.
Currently, I am in that awkward age group between 15-25 who was told by parents, grandparents and other elderly figure these three things:
1. You don’t know the meaning of hard work, we lived through a depression
Ahem. What?
2. You don’t know the meaning of sacrifice and fear! We lived through a war.
Well, now.
3. You don’t know the meaning of a real punishment! In my day, when I was sassy with my dad, he would hit me with the broadside of our four inch tv! Now stop bothering me junior and go take your Riddilin and Paxel so you can study for AP Physics to beat out all the other middle class white kids for a scholarship towards an engineering degree so you can bring this family out of the debt we just incurred when buying the Prius.
I mean.
This needs to change. Right now, our country is like the hangover after a really great party. Like when every great global crisis occurs, the funny people come out of the woodwork. Don’t pull the false labels on me, I’m not a self-righteous, politically geared, um, wannabe comedian. Well, I am wannabe. That part I lied about. Officially retracted.
Yet, I honestly see the (to be pretentious) art of comedians as an avant garde form of communication. They observe and share with people aspects of life that they didn’t even know themselves. They seem to pinpoint the heart of silly trends, hyberbolic fears and social movements with humor. Other comedians have done that for me, and I want to somehow return the favor. I really really want to be apart of that super duper club. Enough panhandling!
So, instead of doing my homework, looking for a job or sucking at point-of-view video games, I’ve been reading about this bootcamp. Mr. Cease, the I’ve only seen you in a stand-up setting. Obviously. That would be weird if I’d seen you in a different setting. Anywho…. These promotional videos about that camp really got the cogs turning. You seemed so passionate. So convincing in fact, that I thought it was scam. How could you so easily have switched from being the guy who high fives for vaginas to a man urging sincere risk taking?
But, I’ve come to the conclusion that this is real. And as close to the chance of a “break” that anyone could get.
Therefore, I too can go from a girl flippantly talking about the Roomba revolution to thinking about realistically taking the next step towards comedic FAME AND GLORY.
Your money question still hinders me. I would… try to get “connected” play shows, make cds, write a book, direct a movie, tour, get hitched in a hideous scandal that would guarantee me immortality posthumously. But first, I would pay off my student loans. Yup.
in the future,
Jill S.
September 19th, 2009 at 9:51 am
I love stand-up comedy. I can always make my friends, family, and teachers laugh, but whenever I try to write my own routine it comes out a little rough. By that I mean bad, well actually “awful” or “terrible” to use some of my friends words. This from a friend that called me the funniest person he knew, not two monthes earlier. I think your bootcamp would not only be awesome, but would also help with my joke writing skills, because seriously, whats the deal with rolling back-packs. they are called BACK-packs for a reason. And you will only ever see the biggest nerds with “rollers”, as they like to call them. You never see the captain of the basketball team rolling his back-pack behind him. It actually just makes the person doing it look really pathetic. They always seem to have their head down and their tail between their legs, like they are a dog that tryed to take a shit inside the house, and the shit is the back-pack, that got stuck to them and wont come off, even if you tell them you’ll pay for a new “shit” that doesnt make the most annoying sound.
Thank You Kyle Cease, and thank you audience. You’ve been great.
September 19th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
PICK DAWN NASH…
I’m not kidding. This is no joking matter.
Bundle of fun, beautiful and mysterious. (third nipple anyone?)
September 19th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
I’m casting a nomination for comic and actor Dawn Nash from Hawaii. She’s fun, funny, open and always willing to learn and grow. We’ve taken stuff together and something I can say about her is that even when the going is tough, she sticks with it. And she’s willing to stretch in new directions even when it’s challenging. Send her to stand-up boot camp – she’s worth it!
September 20th, 2009 at 1:17 am
I think you should choose Dawn Michelle Nash, because I am one of the many people she told to go on here and put her name
September 20th, 2009 at 5:42 am
One person who has brought the experience and profession of comedy into my life (and the lives of others) is Dawn Michelle Nash. You should… you WANT to have this woman in your boot camp.
Living in Hawaii the comedy profession faces many challenges and in such could use a fresh whack to the face. My experience with Dawn is that she is just the woman to do said action. In her performance you’ll see honesty, and the truth of the matter is that this woman is a powerful force unto herself. But as we know here in Hawaii, every hurricane only gets stronger with the things it picks up.
Comedy – as rooted in comoedia – is from drama with a happy ending. I don’t see this as necessarily an ending unto itself, (nor an experience akin to a massage add-on) but you must end the phase of Dawn’s comedic experience without the Stand-Up Boot Camp and begin the one with the SUBC as a part of it.
September 20th, 2009 at 11:50 pm
Dawn Michelle Nash has BALLS! no, she’s not a hermaphrodite, but she has KO-HO-NEZ! she’s not afraid to fall flat on her face and fail in the flames! she flew all the way to new york from hawaii to do a stand up workshop and perform stand up at caroline’s on broadway with absolutely no stand up experience (except for watching and studying it herself). she will once again fly across the pacific ocean to learn what she loves and is not afraid to make an ASS of herself in the process!
Mahalo and aloha!
September 21st, 2009 at 12:49 am
I will suck my way to the top. Just need to get my mouth in the door.
September 21st, 2009 at 12:49 am
Does each vote count if they come from the same family in the same house? Sheesh.
September 21st, 2009 at 12:51 am
because people from hawaii aren’t funny.
September 21st, 2009 at 12:33 pm
Comedy and Stand Up is a lifestyle and not just a hobby for me.
But I do have some restrictions with my current occupation that don’t allow me to currently give a 24/7 full commitment to this passion of mine. I was present at the first comedy bootcamp and the energy, information and friendships I made pushed me to another level.
Immediately after that bootcamp I went on to Seattle and did 6 shows with audiences that I would normally think wouldn’t open up to who I was and my point of view. I crushed in all 6 shows all because of the bootcamp.
The information that I know that I will get in this next bootcamp would only get me closer to my goal of freeing me of my day job and onto the level of paying gigs that will support me in this quest to be a headliner. I have a unique point of view that because of my occupation causes audience to discard stereo types and be accepting that we are all more alike than you think.
I would use this experience to connect with those in the industry, market the talent I know I have, to seek out opportunity in areas I normally may not go and force them to recognize outside of the norm.
My limits are of my own design and this class breaks those down.
Now all that sounded very serious I know. I wish I could have thought of something funny to say. See this is why I need this class because I am too damn serious. I need to lighten up.
Day in and day out when someone asks me to answer questions like “Hey officer that pepper spray is stinging my eyes can you stop?” or “Dad I need shoes all the kids at school got them”. Do I take them seriously? Well not in those cases, but mostly I do.
So I suggest that give this free session to someone very deserving who otherwise could not afford to go. There are some very talented comics out there who are hitting the mic every night and deserve this opportunity but can’t afford to go.
But if you can’t find that person because they are in jail, in rehab or something.
Give it to me or that Nash girl since I surely want here to excape that hell hole called Hawaii.
September 21st, 2009 at 12:36 pm
I also hope the bootcamp will help me with spelling and sentence structure since that last sentence looked as if I had been drinking. Which I only do when I am at work.
September 21st, 2009 at 1:09 pm
Wow! What can I say but THANK YOU! I don’t know if I’ll win or not but regardless I am so thankful for everyones support! Wow! Thank you all so much!
.
I have been very moved reading the posts…Every person nominated deserves a shot and everyone has valid reasons for wanting to do it. Some sad, some fun….but all valid none the less…I wish everyone the best of luck because we all deserve a shot at accomplishing our dreams.
I have gotten lots of emails from people saying they tried to post but had difficulty but regardless when someone does a random act of kindness to support your dreams it means so much. To my husband, kids, friends, teachers, classmates, co-workers, other comics & even a random Facebook friend let me just say THANK YOU! IF I win – and that’s a BIG IF – I know it’s because of all of you and I’ll do my best to make you proud! Thank you all so much!
Regardless if I win or not, I am so moved and touched by this….I love you guys!
Warmest Aloha with my deepest gratitude – Dawn.
September 21st, 2009 at 2:47 pm
Mustard update:
My mustard has mysteriously reappeared!
It’s Emeril’s Dijon Mustard.
Don’t judge me – it was $2.50.
September 21st, 2009 at 3:13 pm
Hi my name is Brandon Riddley
I’m 21 years old 5′5 African American handsome ass male from Minneapolis MN
I was a former theatre major at MN State University Mankato (before i ran into financial problems) so i can really get alot out of what u teach me as far as how to perform stand up and finding my persona so i won’t be much of a hassle there plus i got jokes for days of all different styles of comedy. with the information i do learn i will finally be able to find my voice in which every one else that has written you already has. you guys provide the connections with people that you have mentioned like louie anderson, john lovitz, Alonzo Bodden, Steve Byrne, not only would i gain connections with them, i would ask them what other connections should i know about (writers, producers, club owners and other fellow comics) plus i can ask them advice about how to get started and where to go in the future as this game changes, plus the other connections i will be making is with my fellow class mates they will be learning with me and im sure some of them will be older than me that can give me advice when i need it, i’ll get to make friends with people whom can help me out in the future, people i can help in the future, people i can work with to make great comedy projects with in the future, whether it be documentary, comedy or drama, the people i do bootcamp with could be the furture. To make money i could get started right away, the connections ive made and get a manager or agent and start negotiating with club owners and try to get dates booked and clubs, bars, colleges or anywhere good to work every night. I don’t want to see another day off in my life unless ive its been a year since ive had one, i come from a military background, i know about discipline and hard work, my 3 camera angle tape will show me what to work on and help me expand on some jokes, i’ll watch it every night so i can knock out all the flaws to give the audiences the flawless show they deserve to see from me. I will also make copies of the tape and send it to all the the neccesary people like wirters directors producers in incase the would be interested in me or my comedic style, put the best clips perhaps on the inernet for all to see and enjoy, and get a little buzz going. If i ever become something big in this busiiness, i wont forget the people who helped and my fellow classesmates that helped me as well i’ll give them my word on that, im all about new talent and want new susperstars to blow up with me so i don’t have to do it by myself. This bootcamp will give me the work ethic and the credentials i need to get started in this tough business. I just want to make enough so i can pay my shcool off 3,000 so i can get back in and finish college, perform every weekend while doing it, graduate to make myself and my mother proud, get up out her house and start my new life in stand up/ acting.
Now i don’t know how you guys are going to determine whom you feel should derserve to win but im taking this essay seriously just in case to show how much i really want to go plus I know i have a ton of questions, and i could really use the help with all this material, and performing ability.
one love, Brandon Riddley
Facebook.com/bran-branriddley
twitter.com/brandonriddley
riddley07@yahoo.com
September 21st, 2009 at 5:53 pm
Kyle you should give out a few passes…Dawn Michelle Nash had a bunch of people sign put her name on here, and it looks likes she will probably win.I mean I have no problem with her doing tat, it was a good strategy. Just make it fair for the comics that don’t have friends because most of them don’t
September 21st, 2009 at 9:26 pm
OK – really small world – I rode the bus to elementary school with Dawn Michelle Nash and she was funny then! And I’m friends with Kyle’s fiance Jules. So, Kyle, I’m an old friend of Jules’ and I’m asking for a favor for an old friend
. And Dawn is a fabulous, funny person and she would put her all into this bootcamp.
September 22nd, 2009 at 1:19 am
Dawn Nash was my acting student as well as I cast her in a comedy titled, “Naked With Attitude”. She is quite hilarious!Hard to find funny women out there and she is it. I think with her talent she’ll be a fit for your cool boot camp. I studied comedy as well in L.A so think you have a great camp from what I’ve read!
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:40 am
Please choose Dawn Michelle for your comedy bootcamp. I can tell you she is naturally funny and looks at the world in different and peculiar ways. She has performed for me since age three, doing original, creative shows. She did a kind of circus/educational act as a teenager (you’ll have to pick her to find out more). Dawn continues to make me laugh out loud every time we talk or visit. Please choose Dawn Michelle for your comedy bootcamp, she deserves the chance to realize a life long dream. She will put in the work, sweat and tears neccesary to be a successful comedian. I know you will be as proud of Dawn as I am.
Dottie,
proud Mom of Dawn
September 22nd, 2009 at 11:32 am
OK, So we still have a couple of days left in the contest and I just wanted to comment on what I have seen so far.
First off, many of these entries are amazing, they are showing great stories of passion and heart, I am finding them really interesting.
We have gotten emails from people worried because they think Dawn Nash will get more votes from other people. First off, I want to say that Dawn Nash HAS been brilliant with her out of the box style thinking, and done a lot of cool ideas to show a real clever passion. I love that. To the people who said I am going to pick her because she got more votes, at what point did I say this is based on votes? It is actually based on my decision, although I might pass it on to another comedian to chose.
To those people worried about this, why don’t you spend your energy showing us you want it more? That is the whole point of this bootcamp. People are so focused on why other people are doing something well, however at any point, they could instead use that to drive them. The point of this bootcamp is not learning what you can’t do, but how you CAN do it.
It’s so funny, because if I were a contestant, and literally just changed my inner question from “Is that person going to win?” to “HOW CAN I BEAT ALL OF THESE?” the whole world changes. These are all amazing but they are all beatable (no one has done it yet though!)
Changing my inner thinking from “CAN I” to “HOW CAN I” has changed my entire life? I have asked myself “How can I get the top selling CD of 2006?” “How can I make millions doing standup?” “HOW CAN I WIN THE 2009 COMEDY CENTRAL STANDUP SHOWDOWN?” and then it happened!
This is about going all out and really spelling out what is different and how you would use this. This is challenging yourself. READ MY BLOG BELOW ABOUT HOW I MADE 500,000 dollars at 15 years old in 1 month. Just by switching my thinking. It might take some risk and putting your heart on the line, but the payoff could be WORKING WITH STARS ON YOUR ACT FOR 5 DAYS FOR COMPLETELY FREE! THEN WHAT COULD COME OF THAT? INSANE CONNECTIONS? ACCESS TO CLUBS? a 10 year jump? WHAT COULD HAPPEN? OPEN YOUR MIND! GO AFTER IT!
ASK YOURSELF THIS QUESTION “WHAT WOULD I HAVE TO DO TO FOR SURE WIN THIS CONTEST!?” THIS IS WHERE YOU GO ALL OUT!
STANDUP BOOTCAMP is where you will learn this way of thinking. THIS IS WHERE YOU LEARN TO MAKE REAL CONNECTIONS AND TRULY GET ON THE ROAD AND MAKE BANK. LAST BOOTCAMP HAD 28 STUDENTS AND THEY STARTED WORKING A LOT AND MADE CONNECTIONS WITH THE STARS. SOME OF THEM HIT THE ROAD WITH THE STARS, SOME ARE BOOKED FOR THE NEXT 2 YEARS. MANY PEOPLE HAVE MADE TRIPPLE THEIR MONEY BACK IMMEDIATELY!
Don’t ask “Can I get this?” then your answer is either yes, or no. So you just half ass picture 2 outcomes. HOW CAN I GET IT, is taking charge, and truly picturing only getting it.
TODAY ASK YOURSELF ALL DAY, HOW CAN I GET __________ (whatever you want.) Don’t have the money? HOW CAN YOU GET IT? Is something too far away from you? HOW CAN YOU GET THERE? The biggest trick is deciding you want something more. HOW BAD DO YOU WANT THIS? REALLY, HOW BAD DO YOU WANT THIS?
I asked a student once if he could pull off making a million in a year doing standup. HE said no, I asked him. If you had to make a million dollars a year doing stand up and it would save someone you loved from dying would you do it? They said “YES” I said what would you do?
They said, “I would go up every night, I would meet stars, I would write constantly, I would promote like crazy, I would keep pushing out of the box when an opportunity is in front of me……” They listed things for about 3 hours. I just sat there, and now that person is a very successful comic.
FOCUS ON YOURSELF AND YOUR GOALS! MAKE THEM HAPPEN! I am extending this contest to FRIDAY!
September 22nd, 2009 at 12:44 pm
I am glad the Standup Bootcamp has been put together. What a great idea. Unfortunately, there is no “How to Become a Standup Comedian For Dummies”. I have read several books on how to write jokes and I think now I am qualified to pen some really mediocre one liners. Like skateboarding, motocross, and open heart surgery, it’s just not as easy as it looks. Any skill requires learning, and standup comedy is no exception. Even if you don’t have a real guide, sometimes experience can be your only teacher. Here’s where some violin music starts playing. Me, I live in a city with no comedy club, no improv night. As Richard Dawson would shout (and later kiss every woman in the building), the survey says this is the most Conservative city in America. I am located in the worst place in America to perform comedy, and I have to stay here for a while due to family reasons. As a 25 year old man/boy, I’ve been charged with the guardianship of my little sister. I would love to perform in any venue, but I can’t. I’m a businessperson and would use connections in any (and every) way possible. I am already living a happy life of poverty, so I know I am meant for standup comedy. I have no potential here to become a standup comedian. Most pathetic story ever, but please consider me. I want to learn and experience.
September 22nd, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Hey Kyle,
I’d like to thank you for your most recent post regarding the contest, and adding a little motivation for us out there to get started.
Comedy is something I’ve always wanted to do, but corporate America took me away from my dreams for a while. Courtesy of the economy, I’m living the luxurious life of being a stay at home dad, which has given me the ability to go “hey..about that comedy idea…”
Dreams don’t die. They linger. And I’m ready to take it to the next level. I’m willing to drive to California and sleep in my car for the entire week, living off sandwiches in a cooler hidden in the trunk just for this opportunity.
I want to do what I love because I think I can be great at it, but also because I can finally support my family and be proud about it.
Thank you for this Boot Camp, and I hope whoever wins this slot will take their career to the next level and not squander the chance of a lifetime.
If selected, you won’t regret it. I plan to promote, market, and sell myself like the 14 year old Taiwanese girl did to me to get a green card.
Thanks again for the chance!
Jason Randall aka Randall Funk
September 22nd, 2009 at 3:56 pm
Pick Dawn Michelle! It’s not about where she lives or how many people she has pulling for her … although with this many people pulling for her, doesn’t that make her worth it?
As you posted Kyle, she is writing constantly, promoting like crazy and pushing out of the box! Although, it is her talent and for that reason only should you give her this opportunity.
September 22nd, 2009 at 4:38 pm
Hey Kyle… this is an awesome thing you are doing! It took me weeks to absorb everything I learned in that last bootcamp which is why I will not be able to attend this next one… I am starting to tour…
For anyone reading down this far in the blog… I am Kyle’s arch-nemesis student. I fight him every step of the way because I didn’t trust him the way you would want to trust a mentor. But I have to say that *le sigh* he is right… When you get there, forget everything you ever knew about comedy and how you think about it… let Kyle and his friends talk to you about how to think like a successful comedian! I have more new and next level material than I can remember on stage… then I start free associating and the audience laughs!!! I couldn’t have done that without Kyle’s bootcamp! It took me a while to be “in the moment” and I still struggle with it, but I am getting better. And everyday I get better at being “in the now” on stage and the strides are almost biblical…
Thanks Kyle… keep it up, and I will see you soon… And I promise that you will soon be able to stop secretly hating me…
Mikey 2 Shoes
Soon to be Nationally Headlining Comedian
September 22nd, 2009 at 4:47 pm
By the way… Jennifer Luck’s post was friggin Hysterical on so many demented levels I wanna cry… probably not what you were looking for, but seriously… That comment goes on the “best of blooper reel”…
September 22nd, 2009 at 4:54 pm
Wow! I don’t know what to say…. I feel like Kyle’s post basicly is telling everyone to not give up because I’m not going to win… I didn’t know if I was going win before but now it’s pretty clear that I am going to lose! I feel like I went from the top to the bottom in an instance. I am floored that the negative actions of some out weigh the positive actions of many… Why do I deserve this more than anyone? Because I didn’t just post a sob story and sit back and wait nor did I blame anyone else. I got up, took responsibility for myself and made things happen. I emailed & facebooked everyone I knew to show you that I am not just looking for a hand out but that I want this more than anyone! I busted my butt to get those people to post and got a whole lot of NO’s before I got a single Yes! When I read the post above I was in part heart broken as it seems to seal my fate of NOT winning and the main reason for it was other people’s negativity. Despite all the negative – People from Hawaii aren’t funny, it’s not fair because comics don’t have friends, Hawaii hell hole, etc… I am proud and moved by my friends & family for posting for me. I am proud of myself for busting my butt to go after I want. Each of you could have done everything I have done but chose not to. What I did was fair and none of you are victims. I am not a victim either. Which is why after I read Kyle’s post I posted new facebook notes, emailed friends and even tried to submit a press release asking for support! Who knows if they’ll cover it or not, or it will affect things or not…but since it’s already been determined that I’m not the winner what have I got to lose! Yes! I want to win! Yes! Despite all the negative I am stilling going after it! Yes! I deserve my shot!
September 22nd, 2009 at 5:01 pm
DAWN NASH, THERE IS NOTHING IN HERE THAT SAID YOU ARE NOT GOING TO WIN. You chose to see it that way. I haven’t said anything about any decision. I am pointing out to people who are saying stuff about your amazing amazing ambition. I am impressed with it, and people can use it to be inspired.
I have not made any decisions yet. You are awesome. Keep it up
September 22nd, 2009 at 5:15 pm
Oh!….You are right. I’m a dork & I’m sorry! Thank you so much!
September 22nd, 2009 at 5:31 pm
Let me repeat. PICK DAWN NASH. I’m old. I have a blackbelt in tongue, and I’m cranky. Don’t make me come down there Kyle, if that is your real name. Pick Dawn.
Laura O’Neal
lolpresents.com
September 22nd, 2009 at 5:45 pm
Apparently, even on internet comment boards, there are bringer shows.
September 22nd, 2009 at 6:21 pm
Jill Silva is a good friend of mine so I just wanted to show my support. She is the one who has made me appreciate comedy and introduced me to a number of great comedians including Kyle Cease. I just wanted to say that the little essay she wrote blew me away. I shouldn’t be surprised, because her writing always blows me away on so many levels.
I can tell this is going to be a tough contest!
Good Luck Jill!
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:35 pm
I want to throw my vote into the ring for Jason Randall to attend Standup Bootcamp!
Jason is hands-down my funniest friend, with a super quick wit and charm to boot. I know Jason is an incredibly hard worker, and he wouldn’t take bootcamp lightly. He’s a great dad, a wonderful friend, and a FANTASTIC comedian. I hope you’ll choose him because he won’t disappoint.
I just know that when Jason finally has his own HBO special, you will be so glad you chose Jason Randall!
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:54 pm
So I found out recently that a relative in a hasty method to support me, posted multiple ridiculous voting comments with fictional names and such.
I’ve asked her to discontinue and would like to be considered for this contest still. I’ve noticed my initial and secondary entries aren’t in the 65 comments, and neither are actual votes from those who sent legitimate comments in support.
Is there anything I can do to correct this issue? I’d really really like to be considered. I’m extremely passionate about starting my career in comedy and taking it to the tenth level.
Thanks guys!
Jason Randall
Twitter: randallfunk
September 23rd, 2009 at 2:05 am
I ONCE FELT MARK UP AT A SUMMER CAMP. PLEASE LET HIM BE THE LAST COMIC STANDING.
September 23rd, 2009 at 2:21 am
i’m fucking kick ass! i’m hilarious, too! i’m smart and sarcastic and cute to boot. i’m helping to write TWO sketch comedy shows. i’m taking improv classes and writing my own bits. my friends say i’m their funniest friend. i make people laugh all the time. i need to take this class so i can actually do that on stage.
i would use the class to learn how to best present my humor and how to translate my writing skills to the stage. i’d use the connections for future writing projects and help setting up a comedy festival in my home town. i’d also use those connections to develop a stage show that would tour select cities. i’d travel the country doing stand-up and improv with my friend, kai. we’d do crazy shit like insult each other and dry hump on stage. i’d use the audition tape to hold it over my friends who can’t get ahead in comedy and to get jobs. by taking this class, i would be able to teach the skills i learn to others and encourage to let their crazy out AND make people laugh at the same time.
finally, boot camp would help me achieve my dream: making people laugh. i’m an attention whore to the max and i feel best and happiest when i’m on stage. when i’m performing, i can say stupid shit and just be seen as the funny girl.
and really, who wouldn’t pay money to have a hot girl make them laugh?
September 23rd, 2009 at 4:47 am
It’s taken me almost a week to reply to this because I’ve been so worried that I won’t be able to express in words to you how much I want to be apart of Comedy Bootcamp. But after reading this, I know you’ll see how much heart I have for stand up comedy and how much this opportunity would mean to me. So here it goes.
There’s no doubt in my mind that this isn’t worth the $999, I just have no way to afford it. I even asked my parents for help to pay for it, but the only time they’ve ever supported my comedy career was when they wired me gas money to drive home to Rhode Island, by myself, across the country, from Los Angeles. I moved out there last summer to try and further my career and be seen by people that could help me do that, only to last about a month, end up homeless and have my dreams come crashing down in front of me.
I’ve learned from my mistakes and managed to move on without regret from that and everything that I’ve been through during my 3 year career so far. Like the time I camped out for Last Comic Standing on the sidewalk in NYC in the middle of winter, for 25 hours, 2 years in a row, only to be rejected. Or the time I flew to L.A for a comedy contest, won it, and never got my prize. And the times that I drove all the way to New York for stage time, only to not be let on stage sometimes. I’ve driven countless hours to countless shows, sometimes to bomb in front of 5 people or to kill in front of hundreds. Despite all the bad ones, all the great experiences I’ve had and the amazing people I’ve met make it all worth it.
I know that I’m underestimated and sometimes looked down upon because I’m a 21 year old female comic, but I don’t let it bother me because I know I’m funny. I know there’s still a lot for me to learn, but I’m positive that I have the ambition and talent to go really far and make a ton of money doing this. I want to come back from bootcamp with the experience and knowledge to make that happen. Even just having my performance from this on tape will help me a lot in promoting myself to clubs and colleges.
I know that this could be life changing for me and I won’t take a second of my time spent there for granted. I want you to know that I will use every connection I make and everything that I learn to make big things happen. If it means moving back to California after all of this, I’ll find a way and I’ll do it in a heartbeat.
Stand up comedy is my life, and the only thing I can see myself doing for the rest of it. I’m more than ready to start making a living and a name for myself. That’s where you come in. I want to learn from and show everything I’ve got to offer to the best people out there, and I know this is one of the only chances I’ll ever get to do that. Please give me that chance.
You’re actually the reason I got into “The Secret”, after reading about it on one of your blogs a couple years ago, which really did change my perspective on life and my ways of thinking. And that alone is one of the things that have kept and will keep me going. So if nothing else, thank you for that, and for the opportunity of a lifetime.
September 23rd, 2009 at 11:15 am
Vote for
Jason Randall
September 23rd, 2009 at 11:49 am
Addendum: http://www.vimeo.com/6713640
September 23rd, 2009 at 1:00 pm
I think you should pick Jason Randall. Why? Because he does a mean Gary Coleman imitation. And not just any tall white guy can pull that off.
What does he have to offer besides his obvious wit and comedy? He’s connected. The dude is plugged in online and will bring his virtual entourage with him.
September 23rd, 2009 at 1:07 pm
From the time I was 10, I knew that comedy was the career I was designed for.
Unfortunately, the corporate life and humdrum of bills and so forth set my path a different way – that is until recently when said corporate life decided to lay me off due to the economy.
Now is the time more than ever for me to jump back into comedy. Now is the time for me to be the success that I know I can be.
But I need assistance. I need a little guidance. This is why I’d like to be recommended for the spot.
Though I can’t afford the entry to your Boot Camp now, I’m still going to do all I can to get my career on track whether I’m selected or not.
I’m too passionate about doing this to not do it. And if selected, you can be sure I’ll drive to California with a loaf of bread and a cooler to survive a parking lot hobo lifestyle for a week just to get the opportunity.
Thanks again! What a great opportunity you are providing.
Jason Randall
RandallFunk
September 23rd, 2009 at 1:39 pm
I ONCE SMEARED MARK BUENNING WITH HOTDOGS. HE IS AWESOME. VOTE FOR HIM.
September 23rd, 2009 at 2:09 pm
RandallFunk! My vote goes for Jason Randall. All the way, man. There’s no one who deserves it more. Randallicious!
September 23rd, 2009 at 2:46 pm
Hi Everyone! I am not sure what to say. I would love to not even enter the contest and let someone else win, but I believe I am destined to win this contest.
I have had a very rough life, and all I ever wanted was to be on Saturday Night Live.I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child and was in and out of therapy because of it.They had me on all types of medications to “calm me down”.The therapist suggested I went to my grandparents house on the weekend to get away from my Step dad. My great grand mother died in 1993 and my parents decided to sell the house and move away.Before we could move to Orlando we had to move in with my mothers parents.They shipped me off to my step grandmas house in Atlanta while they sold the house. I wasn’t around to say goodbye to my childhood friends or even the house.When I got back from Atlanta my family decided to tell me my step-dad was not my father.It made a lot of sense because my Step-dad and I never saw eye to eye on anything and were constantly at each others throats.After we moved away from my mothers family, i couldn’t hide from my step-dad any more.He would beat me everyday and night, for stupid little things that pissed him off.He was a raging alcoholic just like his father was.I was once thrown from one end of my room to another.I was a really skinny kid, and Im still skinny.The medication I was on was just legal “cocaine”.I can eat and eat and eat and never gain a pound.
I never felt any love from my mother because she always took her husbands side so I tried to find a girlfriend.Ever since I was a kid all I wanted was to be loved by someone. I was always awkward around girls so they always hated me.I always tried to get the wrong girls to like me.I chased all types of girls around and wasted a lot of time on them. Working at jobs long enough to get them to like me never worked. Nothing ever worked when it came to girls.
I moved out of my parents house when I was 19, and my step Dad told my Mom he would divorce her if I ever tried to move back in.I moved back to South Florida in 2003 to be closer to my family.I spent a lot of time with my Great Grandpa that year.I went to his house a week before Christmas to show him my new car.We made plans for me to pick him up on Christmas Eve.Three days before Christmas, my Great Grandpa went into the hospital for routine surgery.I visited him and he was doing great. I went to work the next day thinking my Grandpa would be coming home that day. I received a phone call at work that my Uncle needed me to drive him to the hospital.My Uncle said he had to drive because he had car sickness and had to drive. The truth was that my grandpa died and they didn’t want me to kill myself, so they didn’t tell me.I found out later that night. He was 94.
My family disowned me in 2004, after I moved to New York City for some girl that didn’t even love me.In NYC I became homeless, not the first time I was homeless. I have been homeless many times, some my own damn fault some not even my fault.This time it wasn’t. I was working for an organization designed to help people in my situation. I had to stand in the middle of Times Square and try to get donations for people as unfortunate as myself. I was approached by someone to work for a comedy club and so I took the job.I got out of the rut I was in and got my own apartment. My job was again to stand on the street and make people laugh, and want to go to the club.I used to tell people “get in for half price if you speak English”. The club would scam people by telling them that you had to pay seven dollars instead of fifteen dollars. Everyone paid seven dollars to get in. They told me I wasn’t funny, and eventually fired me. I moved back to South Florida and met my current girlfriend.
My girlfriend and I have both had neglectful families and are currently living with her parents. My girlfriend has never even left the state. I want to give her all the things her family never gave her. They want us to move out by the end of the year but we are both unemployed. Everyday her parents get mad at us that we don’t have jobs.They don’t understand we have dreams. They don’t care that we are in a recession. They don’t care that the job I have working from home is not paying me. They don’t care that We think we are the funniest people in the world. They mock us for wanting to live in a mansion.They don’t even go to my open mic nights. I needed 10 people to show up to an open mic I was scheduled to perform at in May. I had one person. My girlfriend.I was supposed to perform a few months before that, but my car broke down the night before the open mic. I tried to go to the open mic anyway, I was gonna walk, but the club stopped doing open mic. All of the other places in South Florida are at least a 45 minute drive away. I don’t have gas money to perform anywhere.Buses don’t run 24 hours a day. I don’t have friends that can drive me to these open mics.
I saw what Kyle was able to do with the stand-up showcase on comedy central. i went on twitter in January and started telling Jokes.Ever since then, I have been making people laugh everyday.I have over 1700 fans on twitter who think I am the funniest guy ever.I know that if I won this contest and went to the boot camp, my girlfriend and I would be able to get the exposure we need to prove ourselves not only to our families but to the world! We want to End World Hunger and do great things with our money. We just need that little tiny boost. Thanks for reading my sad story. This boot camp will be the one thing that finally gets the ball rolling in our lives.
If I went to comedy boot camp I would run for president of the United States in 2020.I would be on TV 24 hours a day. I would star in over 1000 movies. I would end World poverty by 2050. Also, marijuana would be legal all across the world.
I met Kyle in Miami a few months ago and he told me to go for it. He is what keeps me going. I could have easily given up on my dreams a long time ago, but I didn’t. I have the drive and perseverance to win a free spot at boot-camp. I just can’t afford it. Good luck to you all, and I’m sorry about all the typos and grammatical errors.
September 23rd, 2009 at 4:56 pm
Vote for my Uncle Jason Randall.. He is funny!!!
September 23rd, 2009 at 8:19 pm
I feel that stand-up boot-camp would would give me the confindance I would need to get on stage that would otherwise be found from four shots of Cuervo. I don’t have much in this life but I have my imagination and writing. I love making people laugh.
September 23rd, 2009 at 11:37 pm
Boot Camp isn’t about learning techniques, Boot Camp is about learning
the Psychology of Stand Up. I attended the last Bootcamp and jumped
several notches in a few short months. A few months ago it seemed
impossible to get stage time on a weekend now I routinely book spots at
Comedy Clubs all around Boston (a pretty competitive environment)this
Boot Camp is about taking it up several more notches and becoming a
headlininer.
The best way to make progress in any area of your life is by immersing
yourself in an experience and then taking daily consistent action
towards your goal. I can take daily consistent action by myself but Boot
Camp provides for the experience of total immersion- this is more
important than you know.
September 23rd, 2009 at 11:39 pm
Okay, so I’d like to just say first of all happy belated birthday and
congratulations on the engagement. The reason I’m writing you is
because I remember seeing a link the other day somewhere you posted that
you’re giving away a free admission to the upcoming boot camp. I
can’t find it now, so I’m just saying fuck it and going about it the
best way possible, which is to butter you up with some compliments and
then give you a brief, true and hopefully touching synopsis about where
I am in life right now and why I think I’d be a great choice for this
killer prize. I want this Kyle. I want to be a fucking headliner. I
just started stand up this year and I was already a finalist for the
funniest comedian in Lexington this year. I take my choice to make fart
jokes for a living very seriously. Probably more so than anything else
in life. I have a shitty job as a server at P.F. Chang’s. I
couldn’t have afforded the first boot camp without the help of my
brother. The whole story of how that worked out is crazy, maybe even a
little serendipitous. It was just very random that I used to date
Morgan’s (you remember Morgan Poor from the boot camp right?) best
friend and we had met a couple times back in 2006, and when she moved
away sometime later I guess she remembered me. She saw I’d taken up
standup earlier this year I guess and randomly hit me up one day talking
about how she was going to your comedy boot camp and that if I really
wanted to take this comedy thing seriously I needed to get on board.
The only problem is I was broke and had a shitty job. However, my
brother, who just got back from a year in Iraq this January and had a
good bit of money and really believes in me and comes to all my shows to
record them, was very willing and excited when I told him about it. I
didn’t expect him to book the flight and hotel room and pay the
tuition for the class at all, but he did it. And he did it within a
couple hours of telling him about it. That was unreal and amazing, you
know how brotherly love is though. So all of a sudden I get the chance
to be taught my dream job by the best in the biz. And what do I do? I
fucked up. I don’t know if it was nerves or what happened but I feel
like I failed to make a great impression on you when I came there. And
that really sucks because fuck everything else, that was my main goal.
Sure I learned a lot, but I feel like I failed to network properly.
That stuff is new to me I guess. I live in Lexington Kentucky, as you
know, which is about the size of 2 blocks in LA. I don’t know if you
recall the exercise you had us do the first time we broke into small
groups and I was in your group first. Me, Morgan, Mason, and the
Hispanic fellow and the dude with glasses, both of who’s names escape
me at the moment, were in your group. At the end of our session you had
everyone write down 3 things in our lives that we felt bad about and 3
things that made US feel bad, then you spoke with us individually about
it. Do you remember that? When I spoke to you, I told you that all the
life lessons you were teaching us truly made perfect sense to me, and
that in fact a lot of these conclusions I had already come to over the
course of the last year, just alone is self reflection at home. I also
knew then that I wasn’t making the impression upon you and inspiring
you to have the confidence in me that I knew I wanted you to at that
point. I told you that whether or not it happened that week or
somewhere down the road in life when we met again, that I felt like
because of this connection, because I truly got what you were trying to
tell us, that one day I would make that connection with you that I
wanted us to have. That this is more than just talk, this is a
movement, this new golden age of comedy we are trying to perpetuate. I
feel like this is that chance for me to show you my true value. There
is no way I could afford to go back to LA for this unless you offered a
free pass and unless I could convince you I was the best choice to get
that pass. There goes that serendipity again…
When I returned home from the boot camp I started saving because I had
already decided I was moving to LA as soon as possible. I almost
didn’t leave LA in the first place, as an actor friend of mine tried
to convince me to stay my last day there and even offered to let me stay
with him a month or so while I got settled in the city. Alas, I decided
that I needed a more solid plan before making such a big decision, and
returned home to hatch said plan. Saving money is no easy task when you
work at a restaurant. But I set a goal to save 5 grand so I can move to
LA and really go all out trying to make this comedy thing happen. Right
now I have 3k saved up. I need every penny to make this move, and my
goal is to make it out there by new years. I’ll be 27 on Wednesday.
I’m ready to change my life. I’m ready to embrace whatever changes
may come my way, whether or not I planned for them. I believe in the
boot camp. I’ve even started watching the Tony Robbins clips on
YouTube and showing people how amazing dude is. I love the story about
Sylvester Stallone and how the whole Rocky movie came about. What I’m
trying to say is that I’m on board with you and what you are trying to
do. I want in. I’m funny, and with your guidance, I KNOW I can make
this work. Hell, I’ll make it work anyways, but if I was a boxer and
I had the chance to let Ali coach me, well… duh.
So this leads me to now. I won’t let you down. I’m hungry for
this. I’m making the changes I need to make to get where I want to
be. I just need a hand. I’m over stage fright. I don’t need to
ask people if they think what I’m saying is funny. I truly feel like
I understand what you’re trying to do for comedy, to start a new
golden age and to help others that are like minded get involved, and to
help those that aren’t like minded to become that way, or at least
open the door for them to consider these ideas. I feel like utilizing
the ideals you taught us is the best way to live life and I want to help
you make that dream a reality. If you give me the chance, I know you
won’t regret it. What more can I say?
Either way, I appreciate your consideration and apologize for if this
seems a bit brash. But sometimes, as you know, you have to just go for
something, even if you’re not sure exactly how to. Hope I hear back
from you man. Take care.
Sincerely
Matt Parker
PS- Have you been working out?
September 23rd, 2009 at 11:46 pm
I ONCE SAW MARK BUENNING DO DA HAND-JIVE.
September 24th, 2009 at 6:18 am
just a side note free buffet= free diarrhea
September 24th, 2009 at 7:36 am
September 24th, 2009 at 7:39 am
[IMG]http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b278/mnkyboymike/vote.jpg[/IMG]
September 24th, 2009 at 7:39 am
damnit i suck! haha
September 24th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
Hey it’s me again, i just want to make sure my essay is still fresh in your mind when you pick a winner because i really need to win this, i have tons of jokes i assure you i have other comics from minneapolis and clubs you can use as refferences such as Mike Brody, Cy amundson and Tommy Ryman, just in case u need to know how i get down with the comedy, i really need this opportunity and the guidence from you guys, i also wan to take this and report back to minneapolis and show them all what this bootcamp is about. Just in case i was not clear in my last entry i want to perform EVERY NIGHT! stack up my money, go back to school for a few months, (while still performing on weekends) get my degree and hit the road again for the rest of my entertaining people everywhere, i really really really need YOUR help to get started. All i need is one chance, just one and i will network and with all the comics you have us meet and club owners there and prove that im the most hardworking dedicated, talented, YOUNG comic there. Just really think about considering me. I know for SURE im the best choice, i want it that bad…
thanks again for your time and keep my first entry in mind
Brandon Riddley
September 24th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
Yo what up Kyle I’m Buddah Epstien Just telling you to pick Michael J. herbert For the boot camp he is a great comic, and he was a golden retriever in his last life so you know he is loyal and hard working
September 24th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
Yo wazzup Kyle its ya boi jesus Tell’n you to pick my maine Michael J. Herbert…. He cracks my shit up son!!!!
word to the father the son and the holy ghost
and by the way…..
September 24th, 2009 at 3:48 pm
Yo Jesus, I’m really happy for you, I’ll let you finish, but Michael J Herbert is one of the worst comics of all time
September 24th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
I had mentioned this on my last post, but I am extending this one more day. I will announce in 24hours! Bring it on!
September 24th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
Hello, My Name is Garrick Paikai and I am the Artistic Director of On The Spot Improv in Honolulu Hawaii. I am writing to you on behalf of my friend and student “Dawn Michelle Nash” and why I feel she deserves the opportunity to take your stand up Boot Camp. Dawn Michelle Nash is a up and coming stand up comedian, sketch writer, and improviser. I have known Dawn for a little over a year and I can honestly says that she is a comedian with a great potential. She has the desire to learn the craft of comedy in all its diverse expression, in particularly she excels at stand up comedy. Although she is make her home here in Hawaii. I have known her to travel across the country to learn comedy from different teachers and comedy schools. In fact she this past summer she made a trip to New York City to take classes at the People’s Improv Theater to hone her craft. Just a small example of the work she is willing to put in to be a better artist. If given the opportunity to learn at boot camp, I know she would be a phenomenal performer because I know she will not waste the opportunity given to her.
If you asked me what I think she would do with the opportunities given at the boot camp. First and foremost she would strive to become a better business woman. She is a Fearless networker. She constantly uses her connections to open up hustle to performance dates. A chance to learn from Jon Lovitz would give her connections to perform with mainland comedians, comedy clubs, and agents. She would also use the opportunity to have these connections come to Hawaii to perform or teach classes. This past May she using a connection she made at second City LA to bring renowned improv director and second city artistic Director of Second City (LA) David Razowsky to Hawaii for a series of intense comedy workshops.
Secondly Dawn would not waste what she has learned. For as long as I have known her she has always shared knowledge by teaching workshops or by helping others starting out. She’s not one of the people that would sit on it. She would go out of her way and teach others what she has learn by offering advice or by opening up comedy workshops.
Lastly I think Dawn would use the Boot Camp to become a better performer. She is never happy with the status quo and often goes out to become a better performer. I think Mr Lovitz is exactly what Dawn needs to reach that next level as a comedian.
I see Great potential in Dawn Michelle Nash. I hope you will give her this opportunity to wow you. I appericate your time and consideration. You can contact Dawn Michelle Nash at her email dmn62975@gmail.com
Regards
Garrick Paikai
Artistic Director
On The Spot Improv Hawaii
September 24th, 2009 at 4:59 pm
I’m broke, I’m funny, Lots of struggles, I grew up watching Lovitz, etc. etc. etc. same as pretty much everyone else mentioned… Now, onto the meat and potatoes of this thing:
HOW WOULD YOU GET THE MOST USE OUT OF THE BOOTCAMP:
I would not only be able to further hone my talents as a performer and producer of comedy, I would also be able to begin taking other comics under my wing, share my stories of successes and struggles with others, and further network to continue to be a significant contributor to the new movement of positive-thinking comics who will ensure another comedy boom in the very near future.
WHAT WOULD BE THE MOST YOU CAN DO WITH THE INFROMATION YOU WILL LEARN:
In addition to what I just mentioned (networking, sharing, building a new movement, etc.) I will use the information from the bootcamp towards my Master of Science Degree. I’m currently a full-time graduate student at The International Center for Studies in Creativity and my chosen focus is humor (an almost unheard of concentration). I would like to incorporate ideas from the bootcamp into my Master’s Project, which is developing college courses/curriculum in humor (stand-up, improv, therapeutic humor, etc.). One such outcome from this would to be able to offer undergraduate college students an elective course in humor/comedy, which would inform and inspire others of positive-thinking applied to comedy and again – assist in promoting a new comedy boom.
WHAT WOULD BE THE WAY YOU WOULD MAXIMIZE YOUR CONNECTIONS THERE?
Why wait until then? http://www.ChetWild.com, http://www.facebook.com/ChetWild, http://www.twitter.com/ChetWild, chetwild@gmail.com, . . . . completely apart from this contest, let’s start connecting now people! Add me up! Whether you’re attending the bootcamp or not, shoot me a line – let’s talk some comedy ? To more directly answer the question, I would make sure to get some face time with any agents or college bookers, ensure that each comic there (attending or speaking) knows who I am by the end of the bootcamp, and I’ll be passing out business cards like my life depends on it. I would love to find a few comics from the bootcamp who might have interest in putting a tour together next summer and jump hop in a van and do a cross-country tour this coming summer.
HOW WOULD YOU USE YOUR NEW EXPERIENCES TO MAKE A LOT OF MONEY:
As alluded to above, I would like to seek representation in the near future and give this a shot full-time after I finish up grad school this spring. I’m all about “pulling a Kyle Cease” and rocking out 200 college gigs in a year – bring it! Comedy is only the start… I want to (and will) become a great headlining comic, but that’s the tip of the iceberg. Long-term, I want to branch out into other comedic entertainment – whether it be acting, TV, movies, writing scripts, doing punch-up, etc… The dream gig I’m aiming for is to host my own late-night show. Technology is changing the way people get their media, so if I’m not hosting The Tonight Show in the next few years (I assume Conan will be around for a while) then I’ll look to my own form of entertainment online to go viral. Add me up on facebook now and I’ll book you a guest spot on whatever the hell my show ends up being… seriously.
HOW COULD YOU IMPACT OTHER PEOPLE WITH THIS EXPERIENCE:
Besides the aforementioned (sharing my stories, inspiring others, putting a tour together with other comics from the bootcamp, developing college courses in humor, etc.) – I would like to impact “bigger name” comics than myself. As an emcee, I’ve had a few shows where people have come to me after the show and said “the headliner was alright, but you were awesome!”… I want to not only better myself and other up-n-coming comics, but push more established comics to do better as well. As a club emcee, I’ve seen many comics go on stage and go in “cruise-control” mode – just telling the same old jokes and not really having passion for it. If I’m emceeing or featuring for a weekend with a headliner, I want the headliner to see my performance the first night and say to themselves “Oh shit – I need to bring my A-game tonight.” Additionally, I would like to use said experiences to become a “big name” in the industry to have more influence in producing quality entertainment to the world. Comedy and entertainment isn’t only an opportunity to make people laugh, it’s an opportunity to express your views (whether it be something as cute as being upset at McDonalds getting rid of SuperSize or as serious as picking apart world leaders politics). This experience will help set the foundation of my career which will be an excellent base for me to catapult off of and share my views with a large population of the world.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH THE NEW 3 CAMERA SHOOT TAPE YOU WOULD GET OF YOURSELF PERFORMING, AFTER YOU WERE COACHED BY THE BEST:
First and foremost, I would use this tape to shop around with college agents and secure a college showcase spot at APCA and/or NACA this coming spring. I would also include it in my PR kit to send out to clubs and gain work, exposure, and money. Additionally, I would include this footage in a DVD as a special feature down the line – kind of a “remember when” type deal. I would also use the tape to show to other comics/friends and hopefully inspire them to get on board and attend a future bootcamp themselves.
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE THE BOOTCAMP APPLY TO YOU HAVING THE MOST SUCCESSFUL FUTURE POSSIBLE:
Simple, re-read everything I just wrote.
My Master of Science is in Creativity, so I figured the most creative thing I could is simply answer the questions posed. In the event that my entry was too bland, I’ll offer an alternative ending, just click the link: http://www.chetwild.com/chet-gone-wild.html
I look forward to crossing paths with all of you, one way or another, in the near future.
Warmest regards,
Chet Wild
http://www.ChetWild.com
ChetWild@gmail.com
September 24th, 2009 at 5:49 pm
I have known Michael Herbert for years, we met our freshman year at Clark High school, which is most likely the hardest place to be when you are the minority, and the minority is white. Now I’m not racist, but I want to make the point of if you want to survive there, you either have to be completely quiet and mind your own, or be Like Michael and have the gift of humor. No matter how his life was going at the time, he always had time to make someone laugh, like most of the worlds greatest comedians he has seen his share of things that are hard and anything but funny, and that’s what makes his humor that much more unique. He would be perfect for the bootcamp, but first and foremost I believe he will be one of the best comedians the world has ever seen if he is given the chance. He could make me laugh, at a point in my life when no one could even make me smile. All he needs is the chance.
September 24th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
I want to go down as the greatest comedian to ever perform. 99% of people who see that statement will say, “Ha, and I want to be Bugs Bunny… keep dreaming!” Regardless, that’s my goal (not the Bugs part). I’m 19 but I feel like I’m well on my way. I’m performing 2 to 4 times per week wherever I can get stage time. However, as a young comic in Ohio, I haven’t received much guidance or advice from the veteran comics who tend to ignore me out of jealousy and bitterness.
Despite the difficulties of breaking into the comedy world, I know it’s going to happen eventually. This bootcamp would expedite my growth as a standup comedian. I don’t want this camp so I can get exposure to managers or booking agents, I want to develop into a better comic and a better overall human being. As a college student who has enough trouble paying for school alone, I would have to get more loans to afford this camp. I’ve been checking out the bootcamp videos as if it was an impossible dream and when I saw there was a contest for a free trip I nearly blew one in my pants. I just want you to know if I was given the free trip I would not disappoint and I would be an awesome addition to the group. Like I said, I want to be the best, but before I do that I’d like to hear from the best.
September 24th, 2009 at 7:33 pm
response to kyle “Bring it on!”
Oh I am bringing it…..hopefully
September 24th, 2009 at 7:54 pm
Do you like sexy fortune cookies? I do…in bed.
a) How would you get the most use out of the bootcamp … in bed?
I’d method-act myself into the human Today sponge and soak up all of your disgusting genetic material . . . I mean knowledge. I’ll take that knowledge and make a baby. That baby is a metaphor for the transformation that will take place if I win into your Standup Bootcamp.
Do you remember when you said “no babies” Kyle? Don’t abort my baby Kyle!
b) What would be the most you can do with the information you will learn…in bed?
Best Case Scenario is I become a famous comedian and start a competing Standup Bootcamp, eventually putting Kyle Cease bootcamps out of business. NO. Best Case is I’m asked back to the Bootcamp to give back to other people like me. Best Case is that I continue learning, writing and performing; Best Case is that I realize my potential. Best Case is opening for you at Staples Center.
Best Case is doing comedy with you Kyle…in bed!
c) What would be the way you would maximize your connections there…in bed?
I’d love to make new friends and meet writing partners for my other projects. I have an online magazine on the backburner, and it would be a great opportunity to find other writers, as well as subjects for interviews and articles. Kyle, first question: Who, in your mind, is the G.O.A.T. of comedy … in bed?
I’d follow-up with everyone I met with a personal letter and lingerie personally worn by me. Effective networking requires a unique calling card. Skid marks just mean I really want to connect with you Kyle!
Connections are about connecting people; the most powerful person is the one in the middle. I would try to help everyone I met at Bootcamp by being a connector.
d) How would you use your new experience to make a lot of money…in bed?
My escort/pizza delivery business for lonely Big Boned Women would fail miserably. I’d turn my bag of lemons into a bottle of bourbon, load up on the lottery and miraculously hit the Mega Millions jackpot. I will pay back the free tuition with 99,999% interest; we’re going to be rich Kyle!
I’d use the experience for material in my forthcoming memoir, “The Voice in My Head’s Not Funny: It’s Really Really Super Serious.”
I’d network and compile a comedy database of industry contacts and start a website for comedy networking, e-commerce and classes with a monthly membership like a comedy university. I would market the products and services as the roadmap to success in the field of comedy. Some of the classes could be: Standup 101, How to Build a Comedy Website, Comedy & Social Networking. I would attract the big names in comedy with a great distribution model for their CDs and DVDs, as well as comedy services. Potential advertising partners could be comedy clubs, Comedy Central and companies that appeal to the 18-35 demographic.
All of these ideas lead to riches, glory and girls…in bed.
e) How could you impact other people with this experience…in bed?
Two words: comedy groupies. 3 is a magic number in comedy. In this case it’s a win-win-win. This leads me to the book I’m working on… Fluff: How I Fell into Porn’s Lap.
I’d expand my burgeoning literary empire into the music arena with my new video “I’m bringing blow j’s back, (what!)” feat. Bill Clinton.
And of course, my online magazine will feature stories and interviews with the people I meet because of you. I am ready to be the poster boy for Standup Bootcamp success. I want to show you the posters I printed.
f) What would you do with the new 3 camera shoot tape you would get of yourself performing, after you were coached by the best…in bed?
Listen, Kyle, I’m all for trying new things, but I’m not ready to make a movie yet. Give me time, buy me dinner first. When I am ready, I will use my tape: to meet people, to use as a benchmark for where I started, to hone my funny bone and most importantly, make friends through laughter. I read an interview with a comedian recently and he talked about having the experience of a room of smiles looking back at him. I want to feel that.
g) How would you make bootcamp apply to you having the most successful future possible…in bed?
Ok Kyle, I’m drawing the line…in the sheets. It’s time to be serious. I want to win.
Standup Bootcamp is a great opportunity for me to learn the who, what, where, when and why of comedy. From my research, I’ve gathered that you’re trying to change the world through comedy. I admire that. Your connect the dots style of stand up is funny and it feels free and real and this contest is an opportunity to make a dream a reality for me. I want to study with and from the best in comedy, whether that’s Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle or you, Kyle Cease. This bootcamp symbolizes exploration: am I funny enough to do stand up? You tell me Kyle.
P.S. If you don’t choose me, please consider Dawn…I’m one of her children, she’s a wonderful Moth…she’s forcing me to write this…she’s tickling me mercilessly…HELP ME KYLE!
P.P.S. Dawn’s write-in campaign shows thought and determination. Chet Wild’s submission conveys a lot of positivity. Matt Parker has a big dream. I know my vote doesn’t count, but those entries caught my attention.
P.P.P.S. In the interest of full disclosure, I’ve only performed once or twice, in 2006 at an open mic in San Diego. It didn’t go well. I just started writing with my brother in the last month. I’ve always wanted to pursue Standup but this is my first real effort towards making that a reality. If I don’t attend your bootcamp this year, I know I will be able to afford it in the future. And maybe I’ll be more ready for it then. I had fun writing this all out. Best of luck to everyone. THANKS KYLE!
Christian DeBlis
September 24th, 2009 at 8:04 pm
Pick my sister-in-law Dawn Michelle Nash…she’ll show you her 3rd nipple!
September 24th, 2009 at 9:22 pm
Top 10 Reasons Earl Turner Should Win This Bootcamp Scholarship
10. He’ll compare radio notes there with Kyle and Jon Lovitz, a fellow Marc Germain “Ask Mr. KABC” talk radio caller. (Earl played the roles of The Evil Dr. Krup, Butthead, Billy, Dharush “The Dog Eater” and of course, the lovable reverse-racist Teddy, Freddy’s Brother, on the show.)
9. Will pressure Ant for some diet/fitness tips.
or
8. Will pressure Ant to get him on “Celebrity Fit Club” after he becomes “celebrated.”
7. Invested in a DVR, so he can now get to sleep and wake up early and stay awake! (Nevertheless, he’ll still provide plenty of fodder for other’s jokes with his endless shenanigans.)
6. Can’t provide any recommendations from artists and loved ones in Hawaii, but his present temporary, government job has him visiting prisons, rehab shelters and nursing homes; possibly some of those residents could attest to his funniness, although they most likely don’t have internet access.
5. Removed unfortunately-timed Michael Jackson jokes from his previous routine, so he needs another shot at filming his new set so he can get it out there to all the new contacts he’ll make!
4. Won’t do comedy in bed with Kyle, nor will he part with personal undergarments through the mail…then again, is alcohol going to be involved?
3 Earned a coveted “I love this guy; he’s my favorite” simply for snoozing, from Bret Ernst; the same comic who blasted Jerry Seinfeld. (Where else, I ask, but at the Kyle Cease Comedy Bootcamp, could an unknown comic like Earl Turner ever be placed above Jerry Seinfeld, without even uttering a joke!)
2. Not just for me, but I want to win this scholarship, enjoy this opportunity and succeed in comedy as a career, for my family, friends and neighbors; especially for those who to this day tell me it’s impossible, and that I won’t make it. I have the guts and the material…I just need my break.
1. If I win the scholarship, I’ll change it forever by paying it forward: We’ll immediately start by taking $1000 from my comic ventures to come out from it and that’ll fund a future scholarship, hopefully 2010’s!
Best Wishes and Good Luck to all! And thanks, Kyle. I love ya, brother.
et
September 24th, 2009 at 9:39 pm
Two words… Dawn Michelle Nash
September 25th, 2009 at 12:09 am
One more entry from me just to show how hungry i am and determined i am to get into your amp, i just need you guys to pull this young talented (but not at all cocky) little guy out the gutter and give me just one shot so i can not only get in the game and do all these shows and work hard for my career, but to also put my whole team of comics on the map as well as the ENTIRE city of Minneapolis on my back… now i don’t know if this will help or hurt me but there is this one little awkward at first but after the first poorly executed joke but but funny after that clip of me doing stand up for the very first time(by the way im WAAYYYYY better than that now, better material, opening jokes and ive never bombed the first joke again since) but this clip is to give u an idea of what i look like to match a face with these entries http://www.rooftopcomedy.com/comics/BrandonRidley?performerSearch=Brandon+Ridley
fingers crossed
September 25th, 2009 at 8:39 am
I just wanted to make a comment not about the contest itself but more about the comedy bootcamp. I think just by this string of blogs you can see that there are alot of talented comedians out there. I do believe that we do all have it inside of us to be funny on our own but some of us need to be pushed to the next level in order to go anywhere with it. I hope this comedy bootcamp spreads to places other than Hollywood in order to give people a chance to try something that they may never do otherwise.
Laughter is such a great thing especially the way the world is now. Jokes that involve things that piss us off everyday can turn a traffic jam into laughter just based on one comedians joke.
I’m sure everyone that goes to the DMV now laughs when they go into “satans asshole” -Dane Cook
Divorce is one of the hardest things to go through from what i hear but i’m sure listening to Chris Rock, “if i saw someone driving around in my Pinto shit would blow up like the Godfather” helps the process.
And everyone can relate to Gilbert Gottfrieds Aristocrats joke.
Anyways I hope everyone that replied to this blog gets up on stage if they haven’t already just to do something that so many people are afraid to do.
September 25th, 2009 at 10:17 am
Kyle and Company, you threw the gauntlet down on Tuesday and that day I came up with this idea. Since then I’ve been creating and editing it.
Had to have my friend upload it last night because all the work was on his Mac.
Please look back on my essay as well in deciding. Much love to everyone else who took a chance on this blog and good luck.
Enjoy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9HUypgB0WU
September 25th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
I’ve known Reese Jenniges for a few years now, and to be honest his video submission for this competition marks the first occasion I’ve had to see his stand-up. Although I was SO impressed by the video, truthfully I don’t feel like it was anything I hadn’t seen before within my everyday interaction with Reese. That’s the thing about him… his love for comedy and making others laugh doesn’t turn on and off depending on the presence of a stage. He’s just as funny onstage as he is when he’s just hanging out with his friends. He has a natural inclination for finding humor in everything, and he completely lights up every time he makes someone laugh.
Being naturally funny isn’t where it ends with Reese though. He is beyond dedicated to becoming a stand-up comedian, and he’s more than willing to work for it. He created his video submission in the space of a few days, which is such a testament to the immense creativity and drive that is so ingrained into who he is. I can only imagine what he’d be capable of after this boot camp.
Reese always carries around a tiny composition notebook in his pocket… which (trust me) he pulls out countless times a day to record jokes or ideas for bits to develop later. Comedy is always on his mind… its a part of him. I have no doubt that he has what it takes to succeed, and I think this boot camp would be such a wonderful experience for him. He wants this, and more than that he deserves it.
Best of luck with this decision, Kyle… I realize the competition is stiff. I know Reese is going to make it with or without this boot camp, but I can’t tell you what an amazing opportunity this would be for him. I promise you wouldn’t regret picking him… that kid is going to change things.
PS He really does cry after sex. But try not to hold that against him.
September 25th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
Once again, thanks for the opportunity to allow someone who may not have the means to learn the tricks of the trade.
Two months ago when I was laid off, I decided that I’d finally jump into the career of my dreams, instead of wrestling with another dead end office job. Since then, I’ve been reading books on comedy, watching Comedy Central specials like marathons, going to comedy clubs locally, and have started writing material for a one man show.
When this came along, it was just perfect timing. Nothing could have come at a better moment.
As I live away from L.A, I’m prepared to drive to California and live in my car for the week if selected for boot camp. I’m prepared to clean the tables at the Jon Lovitz Comedy Club and peel the water bottle labels for the act.
Now is the time, and though I’m not the aggressive type, I plan to pursue this dream at all costs.
With or without boot camp, I plan to move forward and be the best comic I can be. That’s how life is. You can’t just quit the moment someone says “nope – you weren’t picked for a contest.” If you give up that easy, then this career isn’t for you.
I can’t wait to get started and I hope I get the chance to get the advanced training needed – but if I don’t, then that’s okay and hopefully I’ll have the funds to buy a ticket for your next boot camp.
You guys are awesome for doing this, and thanks!
Jason Randall
September 25th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Q. How would I make the most of bootcamp?
A. By being ever present in the now and maximizing every moment while there and immediately applying what I learned both at the workshop and beyond .
Q. What is the most I can do with the information I learned?
A. Well since I don’t know what the information is that’s very hard to say…but my biggest dream and goal is multi-facet including headlining as standup comic, earning both my SAG & AFTRA memberships and starring in a variety of movies and TV shows. Possibly a book publication as well. I will use the information I learned to help me accomplish those dreams
Q. How would I use the experience to make money?
A. This is something in part that I hope to learn at bootcamp which I will immediately apply. This is an aera of weekness for me that I hope to overcome in the bootcamp. I know I would ad it to my performance resume, submit the DVD to comedy clubs as well as use it in my reels and hopefully gain bookings and therefore money…I want to make money and know it is possible in comedy.
Q. How would I apply this to my most successful future possible?
A. My dream is big and this takes commitment and determination – something I think I have proven I have during this competition. My most successful future includes a happy & supportive family, a healthy body, soul & spirit and an extremely successful comedy career all of which are filled with an abundance of wealth, prosperity, joy and love. I believe this bootcamp is in-line with my goals and helping me to obtain that wonderful future. I believe this bootcamp will teach me valuable tools to help me elimate things that are blocking me and empower me to accomplish my most successful future.
Q. How will I impact others?
A. On so many levels it already has impacted others as you can read by all the posts. I believe that the more you give the more you get and I am committed to giving in every facet of my life – this is a large reason why so many of those people posted for me. I will continue to help, inspire and motivate my friends and family and local community. Beyond that , as a comic we have the chance to say what others cannot and that is a rare gift which I plan on utilizing for the greater good to not only impact those in my immediate circle but the world at large.
I am very thankful for the entire experience. I am grateful to my friends, family, co-workers, teachers and even strangers who have posted in support of me – Thank you!
This is a wonderful thing you are doing. I appreciate it greatly. I wish everyone good luck in their comedy pursuits and hope to cross paths with each of you on the road to comedic success.
With immense gratitude and Aloha – Dawn Michelle
September 25th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
Oh…and just so you can put a face to the name below is a link to a video of me…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzWEubZxNKs
September 25th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
Reese’s video was pretty funny; his heart is in it too.
September 25th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Kyle this is my last time bugging you…..flip a coin….. if its heads lets me go to the boot-camp….tails pick someone else and I will leave you alone forever….hows that for out of the box?
September 25th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
Yeah! A Quiz! I love quizzes! Psych. I hate them. But for YOU, I’ll take one. So here goes:
* How would you get the most use out of the bootcamp?
I would use bootcamp the same way I used Marine Corps bootcamp. To bring great death and destruction on unsuspecting small nations!
Oh, wait… How would I get the most USE OUT of bootcamp? Hmmm. Personally, I’d use it to make new friends. And perhaps learn how to be a better speaker, because God knows I’m not EVER going to be a stand up comedian! I’m just not that funny…
* What would be the most you can do with the information you will learn?
The most I could do with it? Well, I could video tape every word of it, have them transcribed by underaged $.50 per hour workers in India. Post them to a public blog. Write an e-book about it, then spam 80 million inboxes asking them to download the information. After I get 1 Million downloads I can then publish an actual book and claim to have a book that was read OVER ONE MILLION TIMES! I can then get richer than I already am, and be a famous comedic genius. Bonus!
* What would be the way you would maximize your connections there?
Well, I would start out by having sex with all the women. Cause once you do that, you’ve got em hooked. I would not have sex with the men. Well, maybe Louie Anderson. But that’s where I draw the line.
After the sex part, I guess I might ruthlessly beg people to follow me on Twitter @johnpoz, and on Facebook @johnpoz, and I might even invite a few folks to tag along with me and head over to the Playboy Mansion to hang with Hef.
But I think the Sex thing is the best way. Definitely.
* How would you use your new experience to make a lot of money?
I already have a lot of money. I don’t need any more.
BUT, if you want to give me some, I’ll donate it to a worthy charity.
* How could you impact other people with this experience?
Well, don’t forget about my best selling book! I mean, that alone is going to reach like 80 million people!
I suppose if you really wanted me to, I could also drive around and reenact the Charles Manson killings while telling jokes? But I mean, could you further define the word “impact”?
* What would you do with the new 3 camera shoot tape you would get of yourself performing, after you were coached by the best?
Well, it depends. You know the chicks I was going to have sex with? Can we film that?
If not, then I would want to take the 3 camera crew OUT of the studio… Go bar hopping with you, the crew, and the other students. Get everyone hammered drunk. And film the whole thing! THEN I would post it on my blog at OneMansBlog.com to entertain my mother, who reads my blog every single morning before she goes to work (true story).
* How would you make bootcamp apply to you having the most successful future possible?
Listen. What kind of a question is that? I already had sex with a bunch of hot chicks… I wrote a best selling novel… I made a viral video… Damn Kyle! You are a relentless slave driver!!! What more do you want from me?
Psyche. I love that about you man.
Love,
John P.
September 25th, 2009 at 3:28 pm
I rock Hard….
Choose me because my comedy is great I just want to perfect it.
I have already created a bit full of integrity and awesome humor, I just need help with the presentation.
Chose me because we have the same birthday…
You could choose me because I have like no money untill my hoes get back from vacation.
You could choose me because when you say this is the guy I picked it should be someone who is representable not some ugly fat turd-sandwich who isnt funny.
Pick me cease man because I want to do comedy untill I die…
September 28th, 2009 at 2:46 am
NAME: Kevin Broberg
NICK NAME: Dawn Michelle Nash
I know it seems silly, but I was given that nickname when I was in second grade, during an intense game of handball. I don’t feel comfortable with sharing why they called me that, let’s just say, the history of Castille Elementary will never be the same. Now, imagine my surprise when I came on this website, and I saw all the comments in support of me, Kevin ‘Dawn Michelle Nash’ Broberg, getting free admission into your comedy boot-camp. I was shocked, touched, and a tad bit teary eyed. Then, I noticed there was someone posing under the name of Dawn Michelle Nash. I call hogwash. The truth is, we will never know who that support is aimed for, but I believe it is intended for me. Why? Only the people who were on the handball court on that brisk, fall morning at Castille in 1990 know why. Everyone else will just have to believe.
Now, as for your questions:
1) I would get the most outta your bootcamp by showing up on time, and bringing PBnJ sandwiches for all in attendance.
2)The most I could do, is store all the information GOLD in my little brain, and apply it to my comedy career. Now, depending on what that career blossoms into will determine how I use what I have learned. Will I tour the country, or be stuck on a lame cruise line with a bunch of old women? Depends on how much I learn.
3)How would I maximize my connections? Umm, facebook. Heard of it.
Oh, and snail mail.
4) I would use my experience to make hordes of cash and bars of gold by taking my comedic tools to far away countries in Eastern Europe and Canada, and tell stories and jokes to make all the people in the villages laugh until they threw all their valuables and babies at me, and made me a rich man.
And, I would also try to tour and apply myself to the TV and film world.
NUMBER 5) How could I impact people with this experience? Ill leave it to my buddy Abe Lincoln to tell you that.
“Kevin is one funny Motha f*&^er. He has impacted my life and the misses life many times.”
NUMERO 6) What would I do with a 3 camera shoot? LOOK BEAUTIFUL! Send it to important people. Sell it at swamp meets. Give it to mom for xmas and tell her I taped it on Comedy Central. The list goes on and on.
FINAL QUESTION) Success is in the eye of the beholder… or, I guess it depends on the person. If you arent laughing, youre life is boring. So, if I can make people laugh, on any level, I consider it a success. Of coarse I want to make stacks of cash, but I will take whatever I can, so long as I know I worked hard to obtain it.
Anywho, Vote for ME! Kevin Dawn Michelle Nash Broberg.
ps. i heart your face
September 28th, 2009 at 11:37 am
Reese is the most hilarious person I know. We used to give him a bottle of Wild Turkey in exchange for entertainment for the night; much better than watching movies. I routinely had to massage the retarded grin off of my face from laughing all night long. Though I can’t believe he told everyone the story about bleeding … now everyone knows…(jk)
P.S. Why would you have “Name (required)” right next to the email field gah!
September 30th, 2009 at 6:11 am
Say I freeze meat in January. The package has an expiration date of February. When I thaw it in June, why doesn’t it remember immediately that it should have gone bad four months ago?